Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Almost rang in the new year with "The Malone".

My friends sons band and they rocked. My feet and still tingly from the vibrations on the floor.

I say almost because it's 11:31 and we're home. I can only handle so much bar scene. I was mucho relieved when S & T said they were heading home. The fact that I'm so much older than 90% of the people in there might have had a little to do with it.

I thought about dropping by the Ivanhoe on my way out of town to see what my dad was up to, but then thought better of it. I'd rather not see him drooling on some 20 something. *Shudder* *Cringe* *Bleh*

So that was my night. I hope you had a good one yourself. And HAPPY NEW YEAR. May it not be as shitty as the last!

Monday, December 29, 2008

Not much to report. I'm going into hell month feeling like ass. I haven't even gotten through the easy month without feeling like ass.

Last night was U-G-L-Y. Low oxygen, wonkie head, numb legs, aching neck.

Who's taking bets Chrismas '09 is going to be black? Oh shut up, you can't say you haven't thought of it. Shit I do.

I've considered selling the goats this year. Just keeping the pets. I may still do that. We'll see if kids change my opinion. Don't count on it as that's the time of year I hate the most. I dunno. I start feeling shitty and selling it all sounds very appealing, but then I'll do nothing but sit on my ass and do nothing. Which, while that sounds appealing for a short time, would be my undoing. I just can't be that bored.

The dreaded lunch went fine yesterday for the short while that it lasted. Short was GOOD. Come to find out they were here for most of the day, but we did lunch. Everyone was on their best behavior, except my husband, who can't help throwing darts at his brother for being a lazy ass, unemployed, not even trying to find work, able bodied, father of two. Too lazy to fill out UNEMPLOYMENT paperwork. *gaaahh*

I just kept my mouth shut. Good plan for me. I did try to kick hubby under the table but missed. Dammit.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Happy "OMG Christmas Eve is tomorrow". Here's your bullet post for the day.

  • We're screwed.
  • As I type this I'm supposed to be putting together the baskets to take to my herds so I can deliver them this afternoon.
  • I'm trying to find something to give my mother. Because we drove all over the county yesterday, resulting in not only an empty search, but my lung sprung a leak. Sadly I even exhausted my on-line search too. *Shit*
  • I have to come up with something for Christmas dinner.
  • I do not know where we are holding Christmas, let alone the dinner. The weather is the key player.
  • I'm feeling smug, because while we made Greg pick out all his own Christmas presents, there is one big surprise he totally has no clue about.
  • I totally missed one other person on my list. Luckily my family and friends are used to getting late gifts. Ha.
  • I will never get these crocheted gifts done in time, they will be late to. I'm ok with that.
  • Happy 2nd day of Chanukah. I studied. Thank you Chabad.org!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Brrr. Oh yeah and Brrr.

And brrr some more.

So I felt guilty (not sure that's the correct term) about not really giving a shit during breeding season and basically saying be bred or not. So I'm running a clean up buck through all the does for a week. He's chasing and they are having NONE of that shit thankyouverymuch. I'm not sure how many does my little ober buck bred. I think he wasn't very effective. I may have no ober milkers to show and no obers at all in 2 years. Too bad too, I like the does I have right now. Oh well.

I tossed the baby boys in with the other big buck yesterday, it was a free for all in the new buck pen. Anyone need a Togg buck? I have about 2 too many. One of these needs to go for sure and probably two.

And BTW, Brrr.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Greg says to me last night, "OMG what IS that?"
I say; "What?"
He's looking pained, actually very pained, "That NOISE, you can't tell me you can't hear it."
At this point I'm kind of giggling. Yeah yeah bad mommy. "No honey I don't hear anything, mute the TV."
Ok now I see he can barley open his eyes and his cheeks are flushed, but still *snicker*.
"Ehhhhhhhhhhh, You can't HEAR that?"
"Uh, no. Just in your head dear. Only the dryer is running."
"Ok, it's getting better." And the redness starts to leave his face.
I tell him, "Ok if that happens again I want to know immediately and you're going back to the doctor."

In all seriousness I think those damn migraine are back. Headaches at night, ringing ears..... SHIT.

Oh and randomly my lungs started to bleed night before last and last night. Why? Is my lung ulcer on a schedule to totally fuck up all my jobs? Shit.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

In case you needed proof...

... that I'm totally fooking nuts.



Have you any idea how hard it is to photograph white? OMG. It was almost as painstaking as crocheting those tiny ass stitches you see there.

That needle? Fooking tiny. So tiny in fact that it pierces material like a needle. Yeah I like me a tiny weapon. I'm trying not to bleed on anything, these towels are white.

2 hours people. And only 2 sides are done with row one. I'm nuts. Totally and completely nuts. And I have 4 more to try to get done. This week.

Wanna take bets?

Oh and those squares? Omg..... I'm not even sure what my count is up to. I can do them in my sleep. I'm nearing the point of being forced to do the 50/50 ones and I'm already dreading that part. Ok fine I counted. 145. But somewhere I've lost 10. See... this is why I don't do big projects. Already I'm having to do parts over. Shit.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Heard at dinner tonight.

"Get away from my food vulture."

"If I was a vulture, Sarah would hit me with her car."

"There I was just flying along when whamo...."

Humm, cute kid huh?

Friday, December 12, 2008

I refuse to say.... "can it get any worse" because it will.

Lets just say, things happen in 3's right? Well my dads best friend dying while he was in the hospital turned out to be #1. #2 and #3 died within a week of each other, last Sunday and on this Wednesday. For god's sake hurry up '09.

We have a party to go to tomorrow night and I'm not much in the festive spirit. Frankly I'm a little in the piss in your wheaties kind of mood. For god's sake don't let any of them get snarky with me.

On a good note, todays 3am milk test went like butter with almost zero errors (a real oddity since this herd tests in barn once every 3 months).

I have not gotten one holiday card sent out other than to my clients. I had grand plans to bake for my milkers this week, I went to my moms instead. I'll buy them something, because I still plan to take around baskets... dammit.

Today I think we are going to go to the dump, get a gate to finish the buck pen because i've been to lazy to get the materials for someone to make me one, shop (not sure for what, but I think I need a little retail therapy), and find some crap (salad or dessert)to take to this party.

Monday, December 8, 2008

For the record. The 50/50 squares suck.
grrrr.....


No other news, carry on. I'll be out of town this week.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Crochet count. 80/616. I'm like 13% of the way. Yet one color of squares is almost done. Really would only take an hour to finish that color. I can do about 10 squares an hour while I'm on-line diddling around.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

A word from on the road. We are currently in Merced Ca. I've been to the lab and dropped off my meters and my milk samples. I'm exhausted because as always I didn't sleep last night.

Magellen got us here in one piece and with, more or less, less trouble than Mapquest. Though she almost found herself in a million peices on the highway in Santa Rosa, you know when we turned it on and it said we were still in Fortuna. No, biotch we are NOT. We ARE in bumper to bumper traffic and need to know where to TURN. It might have been tragic to call my dad and tell him his navigator was in a million pieces somewhere on Hwy 101. After we relocated the GPS and got her on our side she was a handy little bitch. "Continue on current path in 2.2 miles" Gee thanks, go straight F O R E V E R.

Tonight we've already voted on Carrows for dinner. We stopped at the truck stop we like on the way down and I think it's still with me. Ugh. 7am we're up tomorrow and headed to the lab. Unless I get a call. Maybe I'll sleep in. They did teach me a couple cool tricks for sending info to them (the lab) that I didn't know and of course PROVO acted totally stupid over. I do try to figure this stuff out on my own. Why they couldn't tell me Click on "Export to the lab", ummm DUH. Worse, I actually ASKED about that one!

So I'm tired, did I mention that? The fact that it's foggy and the whole trip was foggy isn't helping. I had thought about doing some shopping while here, but frankly I don't care. Maybe I'll stay in Santa Rosa tomorrow. Nahh, probably head home, unless I don't sleep again.

I do love this access to wireless though. Not only can I take the puter with me, I can use it in the car if I need to.

Right now my dog is riffling through the pillows on the bed. Too many to choose one to sleep on, or dig in, or you know whatever bored dachshunds do. I have a funny picture of her on the dash on the way down the way she rides most of the time, which I'd upload but I didn't being the connecting cord. You'll have to wait till I get home. :-P

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Your rainbow is strongly shaded indigo and blue.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

What is says about you: You are a tranquil person. You appreciate cities, technology, and other great things people have created. You share hobbies with friends and like trying to fit into their routines. People are loyal to you and see you as a natural leader.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

Thanksgiving 08

We went to my moms for thanksgiving like we always do. This year had a slight (monumental until it was over) difference. I'm on oxygen at night. Any my mom has no power. While yes the easy answer would be, run a generator, would you like to get up to feed it? So I opted for the, go without, take the machine and gas up the genny in case. This worked out just fine.

Only my mom tried to bake me the first night taking the "chill" off the Hollister house. Holy crap. I like to be cold. The colder the better because


then I can bundle under my blankets. I literally cannot sleep if my shoulders are not covered by a blanket. She fired up the wood stove and then we let it burn out, but it was way too warm in there for hours and I couldn't sleep.

Aside from that Thanksgiving was alot of fun. It looked like this:



Just four for dinner. Not counting dogs. ;-) (there were 3 of those inside)

I only spent 15 min in the bathroom while my guts tried to fall out. It wouldn't be a holiday if someone wasn't holding there end of the conversation from the bathroom. Lucky for me that door behind my head there leads to the bathroom. They could have almost passed me the rolls without getting up. I thought about asking for a TV tray.

Friday we filled pot holes and burnt my moms brush pile.

And then she hands me this crochet pattern book. This is when I realize how evil my mother is. It has this pattern for a crocheted quilt. EVIL. 2 1/4" squares. 616 of them.

Guess what I did today? Why yes, the yarn store was open. thankyouverymuch.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Work was fine. Which is saying VOLUMES for the herd I did.

The son looked like hell. Wow. And not even in the "you need a haircut and a bath" kind of way, which he did. Hauling shit all day does that to you.

So while I was waiting to start work I decided to start trying to figure out why the laptop runs so damn slow. Programs open like they are fighting their way through glue. It's sad. It was supposedly just 'reformatted' by a "professional" in ****townnearhere***. So upon digging I find ALL of my aunts photo's. I can't begin to tell you how many there are. It took 26 minutes to copy half of them to a CD. This same "prof" supposedly cleaned these files and saved them to disk for her.

She has the disks and the files. But they were never removed from this laptop. Nor were any of the 101 million programs she had installed.

So I copied a second backup for her of the photos, including the ones he "lost" and said were corrupted. They weren't, he's an idiot. I scored some great photos of my dad, papa, aunt, uncle, cousins.

The better news. I do not have to wait for that computer to be done defraging to play online. It's been at it an hour and it's only 25% done. Thank god for second computers.

Tomorrow I go shopping. Just shoot me. Luckily I need nothing turkey related. I need all other food we'll need. Breakfast/lunch stuff for the other days. Here's hoping Bill found someone to feed my dogs. Hate to be all HI Mom! We brought all the dogs! Hope you don't mind! Might be a short trip. REALLY short.

Oh and I need to make cinnamon rolls. Bleh.

Monday, November 24, 2008

That's it. I'm a freakin' whimp. Or falling apart. Or something.

I think I mentioned I'm working on a sweater for my foo foo dog?
The brown hairy turd as my son calls her.



She's about a year old now BTW. I know! OMG!

Anyway. So I'm working away on this bleeping sweater when I think, owie my forearm is a little tender.

Fast forward about an hour when I'm sitting eating and realize OMG my arm. It's numb. From the elbow to the wrist. Holy shit. No.Not.Numb. PAIN. Pins and needles. Fire. Burning.OUCH.

What the hell? It's totally painful to twist my hand back and forth. I've only crocheted about 20 rows.

What a woos. I think i need to start working out or something.
=========================================
In health news; Mine. Heart rate erratic again. Lungs feel ok. Drugs seem to be helping but the heart is having some issues.
=========================================
In Health News; Dad. Shoulder procedure went well today. He seems to think he has lots more movement, but it was also totally numb. It will be interesting to see how it is tomorrow (!) at theropy. My guess, he's not a happy camper. I know RM was glad to see us go. We're a rowdy group.
=========================================
We went to see a movie last night. We never go see movies. I remember why now. I gave the boys (am i nuts?) the choice. Twilight or 007. Either I would watch. We went to 007 which I pretty much knew as soon as I gave them a choice.

And it all went south. HOLY SHIT! LOUD. It was so loud that my ears started ringing immediately. I had to sent Bill out to get napkins so I could shove them in my ears like ear plugs. Bill is hard of hearing and said it was too loud. With ear plugs in I could hear everything. I probably could have heard everything from the STREET. WITH my earplugs. It made the whole movie miserable. The movie was ehhh. I like 007. This one was ok.

The final vote once home was (not made by me), we should have seen Twilight. It seems to be a better big screen movie. This 007 wasn't as much a "big screen" must see as some of the others have been.

Looks like we'll be going to Eureka to see Twilight. I'll be packing earplugs just in case. Fortuna has lost our business for sure. At least until my ears stop ringing and my eyes stop twitching.

Use it or lose it

I shake like a leaf.

Really I remind myself of someone with Parkinson's and that's not to take Parkinson's lightly.

You can be sure it's due to the enormous amounts of steroids or steroid like drugs I take. It's still no fun.

My fine motor skills have been sucking lately. Today I sat down to crochet. A sweater for my dog, cuz she doesn't care about my mistakes. Plus she's impossible to fit with a commercial anything. 9" neck, 14" waist.. 22" long. Yeah she's somewhere between a chihuahua and a freight train.

But I digress. I started out with the standard chain that you start any crocheting with and I was shaking so hard I could barely get the damn hook through the loop. After about 20minutes of fighting it I noticed the shakes had stopped. But my vision was blurry. Go figure. I totally will blame that on my age and who makes print this fine anyway. WTH?

Appointment at the eye doctor is in order. I'm sure my eyes are failing even without all the extra drugs I take that effect these things.

But today I had to get new shoes for my car. I can only spend so many hundreds in a day. 5 is my limit. Opps, maxed out.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Discovery

Totally allergic to grain dust.

That's handy.

I started to suspect this about a month ago, but since I was "sick" it was hard to determine. So since I'm "healthy-er" yesterday confirmed the dust theory.

This AM.
Goopy eyes, check.
Tight chest, check.
Raspy, goopy, bleedy lungs, check.
Slight pressure headache started last night, check.

Next test with grain I'll try and antihistamine and see if that does the trick.


In other news, I've been feeling fine up to and including last night. I only was woke up at like 4am with the gurgling lung trick. It passed quickly so it wasn't much. I called the burn day hot-line while I was up, since the plan for today was to get up at 6am and go burn the huge pile of limbs. However today, no burn day. Figures.

So instead I slept in. Now we're going to go have brunch somewhere and find something totally unproductive to do. Then maybe I'll come home and make cinnamon rolls.

Friday, November 21, 2008

This would have been a post I wrote while I was using my nebulizer like a good girl. Only I used it and then was distracted into playing around on my sons science web site. So now you don't get a post.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

I do feel much less like ass, thanks for asking. My little fistfuls of wonder drugs does seem to help every time. I am noticing some trouble with the hypertension again. We can't have it all and so far a little ibuprofen or aspirin takes the edge off of that. These infernal shakes are whats driving me nuts. I used to never have this trouble with this type of drug, but as the say... I am getting older. blah blah blah

So shaking like I have Parkinson's is getting to be a norm. BUT! I can breath. So trade offs.

Typing takes forever. Where I think I put my fingers isn't where they land with the jerking and shaking. I'm not the best typist to begin with so this is an added challenge.

The conjunctivitis is clearing up too. That sure helps the headaches. Nothing, well except a migraine or working with my husband, gives me a headache like constant eye pain.

The buck pen is 75% done, and by tomorrow Bill will be 90% done. We had to stop today on account of the "race" being on. So he can stay home tomorrow and finish. Now I just need a gate to finish to all up. I like to have the gate before putting in the last gate post, insures correct fit that way.

Funny how my old buck just likes his pen. Today all the fences were torn out or had gaping holes and he put himself in there and laid out in "his" spot. He rubbed on a few boards and qualified himself for Cal-Trans by "helping" supervise the boys putting in posts, I think he approves. And it's all about his comfort after all. ;-)

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Look Puppies!

turn on volume for puppy squeaks

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I've been feeling like a dead donkey's ass for about a week. (Yeah that is really what I mean, think about it for a minute and just imagine it.)

So I did what normal people do and *insert gasps here* CALLED the Dr. and made an appointment! I gave them a huge window to give me an appointment like I was in no hurry, but I think the way I was gasping for air gave her reason to worry. (By the way the proper way to gasp and utilize the most oxygen is "Smell the roses [in through the nose], blow out the candles" [out through the mouth] Ya know, in case you ever need that information) So my appointment was for today at 4:30. I left with 2 PAGES of prescriptions. By this time next week I should feel like wonder woman.

Right now I feel like a luke warm, just dead donkey's ass. Total step up. Aptly timed since I have to work tomorrow. This not being able to walk 10' shit ain't gonna cut it. Ask Sarah. Went with Mr to drop off her lumber this morning and she offered us coffee, a rare treat at her house. Not that coffee is rare, she's like me and doesn't extend an invite in often. We always jump on those chances. Anyway, her house is two story and the walk up the stairs to the kitchen had me about having a heart attack at the top. Once there I was thinking two things A) damn I'm glad I made that appointment and B) wonder how hard a pulley system would be to rig up. 'Cuz, you know, we have ZERO stairs in our house. (I also thought, damn I hope I don't pee my pants. 'Cuz I can only consentrate on so many things at once, and breathing was taking priority.)

So after getting my *gag* just shy of $200 in meds (this isn't counting the several hundreds in free samples I took with me) we went to visit my dad. He's doing so much better and today was in a good mood for a change.

Came home, oxygened up, and used my new nebulizer. It's WAY cool. *ahem* The ones I've been using could have, just maybe were, from ohh the Reagan era. It has little rubber flapper deals that keep all the meds in so you don't lose ANY, which is way awesome, it looks really funky, but works really well. In fact, either the neb worked really well or the prednisone is taking effect cuz right now, with oxygen I feel better. My head is wonky though. Could be the head cold I'm fighting with the onset of all the rest of this shit.

Worky tomorrow. I hope I don't crap out. That will suck much.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Bitchy

Wow. Just Bitch will do. That's me. I'm like Bitchy to the millionth power.

It's really bad when you KNOW you're that bitchy and the bitch just spills forth anyway. I'm hoping today is better because yesterday sucked. A trip to "visit" my father didn't help my attitude. Successfully installing more RAM into my laptop didn't help either.

Lets hope 10 hours in bed helped. Of course I only slept 3 of those hours and woke up with a screaming raging headache probably isn't going to help.
So I took 2 Tylenol arthritis am nursing a soda and will avoid human contact at all possible.

My pissy attitude is rubbing off on my kid and I came very close to snapping his head off about "his piss poor attitude and DON'T take that tone with me". Then the replay went through my head before I opened my mouth and I listened to myself. So I shot him an evil look and bit my tongue instead. This is how I can tell today might be slightly better than yesterday. I'm seeing the evil as it happens instead of after I go to bed at night and lay there thinking "holy shit I'm a bitch".

This weekends plans include baking and science experiments and dammit I would like to be in a better mood for that.

I'm going to need to be in a better mood for the next two weeks or I will kill my husband. He has two weeks off from work and I swear to god he'd better not think he's spending all that time crawled up my ass. I'm hoping I can dump him off at the fence project and he will have that to occupy his self with part of the time.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

This should be a profound post, but it isn't. Why start that nonsence now?

I'm still a little aghast over CA voting to pass Prop 8. As you may have noticed I'm not political at all. Nothing, not a peep from me over the last two years about any of it. I don't get into that with anyone. Why? I'm too reasonable I think. I can see any issue from both sides and see why or why not someone would vote one way or the other. Half the time I can see so many good points on each side I can't decide myself, so why argue with you. I am also not someone who votes party lines. I'll vote for whatever or whoever I think does the best job.

But this one. This one just leaves me shaking my head and wondering what in the HELL were people thinking. This is about equality not morality. It goes against my sense of fairness for it to pass. We will vote to make sure farm animals have better lives but not our gay friends. Because frankly I don't think anyone in this state, or your state either, can say they do not have at least one gay friend. Don't think you do, take a closer look. I was 25 before I realized I had gay friends. Really.
Maybe this prop would have been easier for the gay-phobs to stomach if the word "marriage" had been replaced with partnership.

Blah. I'm disgruntled. At least I can say in this county where I live, we voted no on Prop 8.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

If I have to do it myself I will

This is me patting myself on the back.

Cuz someone needs to.

And no I do not have a hairball, thankyouverymuch.

I came home from work tonight and FINISHED the job!! *gasp*

Not only did I FINISH the job, I sat and created a worksheet on the computer to track my years mileage for the business. Which is A LOT of miles. Up almost $1000 from last year based on what the gov thinks it costs to drive.

Tomorrow all I have to do is pack all this stinkin' milk to ship and I'm almost home free for the week.

Tonight's test was cold and wet. It hailed like hell at the beginning of the night and you couldn't even hear the milk pumps over the sound on the tin roof, which is saying something if you've ever stood in a cow barn during milking. I caught the head guy in at least two errors, his, not mine. Love that. Hate when they are my errors, love when they're theirs and their "little list" proves it.

It's a little like the 10 DEAD cows * that another herd "found" after his milker and I showed him physically the 4 cows all wearing duplicate numbers. Because you know... that CAN"T happen. Must be YOU reading the tags wrong. OHHH REALLY? Funniest is when, in front of his dad, they couldn't figure out who one cow was, even with her transponder. The milker and I had this moment of eye contact and you could see us both saying, Oh yeah and it's OUR problem.

Funny people, owners. Doesn't matter what they own either. I'm as guilty as the next guy. Only I'd like to think if I had 10 DEAD cows I'd KNOW it.

****These are dead on paperwork cows. Please don't think that all of a sudden they realized there were 10 dead cows laying around. They'd been dead/sold/culled long before, they just "found" them.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

It's a little odd to wake up to the sound of your cell phone ringing at 7:15 am and see that Jesus is calling.

For a second I thought... but I feel fine. ;)

Friday, October 31, 2008

Did I mention I'm done breeding?

Oh yeah, I'm done breeding.

We pulled the bucks out / moved the older does up top last weekend. I hadn't seen doe action in weeks and frankly if they arn't bred it wasn't meant to be. The little ober buck is still with his harem but only because moving him and his group is a little more effort as they are nailed into his pen. I will disband them this weekend if it's not raining too hard. He could use the extra time anyway he's a little runty.

Greg is maning the trick-or-treat booth tonight. We decided at the last minute to decorate the porch. I'd been trying to talk him into it for a month and THIS MORNING he gives in. So we ran all over looking for three things, web, black light, and a fogger IF i could find one. 2 towns, 4 stores and one awesome half off sale and we were set. Though it took one more store to get the damn black light.

We had one kid at 4:30. Really? People it's not even a school night, and she was NOT in school yet.

Thursday, October 30, 2008



Pfft. Needed to dust things off in here.

It's a little messy and neglected.

I've been putzing along. I'd like to say WOW I got all this stuff done and LOOKIE what I did.

In reality what I've been doing is sleeping way too many hours. Getting way too little done. And basically slacking completely.

I've been getting Greg's schooling stuff done, my work done, and basically that's it. I've felt nasty and crappy and icky for a week now. Work was a struggle and a half because I felt bleh.

I can't even get excited over the fence getting worked on. YEAH! Ehh. It looks GREAT. And really I'm excited.



What? This is totally my excited face.
I hope to hell I snap out of this shit because hell month is starting and I really need to be in top form for this shit. I can't afford to slip up my game now.

I even have a new-to-me laptop so I can send someone else to a dairy while I'm at one. Now if someone else would feel comfortable with doing that alone other than me. Ha. I don't think it's my job that's so hard, it's all the paperwork that seems daunting and overwhelming. And it does to me too. I've just been doing it longer.

I have to get someone (volunteer found, they just need to get healthy again) to test out the tester cheat forms I created to make sure I didn't leave anything out and that they will work for the new program.

Monday, October 27, 2008

For me people are the deterrent. I can do the rest with one hand tied behind my back. I'm just not fond of people. Or their.... chit.

This is why I have few friends and like it that way.

If you don't understand.... carry on.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Goat gossip: apparently our phones don't work. ;) Last I heard when T & S where still in the replacement doe raising phase they got a lot of white kids from L. So maybe? As for the other news, Ewww. That's just not right. Oh well. I've been debating dropping out of ADGA anyway.

I bought a new keyboard. I must have been feeling Sarah vibes. I also got a cool "ergobeads" wrist rest for my mouse. That I like. The keyboard might take some getting used to. I actually went to staples to find a new laptop case. I want one like I have and wouldn't you know, nothing similar to find anywhere.

I also need a very small portable printer. That I'll have to order. Staples just doesn't carry the small and portable. I was surprised to find that monitors are pretty cheap. I think I might get a new flat screen and ditch this monster I have. It's great, it works, it's color and it's HUGE. I'm not sure how they measure these things but this one is 17" on the diagonal just on the screen size. Add about 2.5" all the way around for the case. It's HUGE.

All other news is irrelevant. Nothing new and exciting.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

My cat isn't feeling very good. He's been looking "off" for a little while and I wormed him with a general wormer and it just hasn't done anything. He also hasn't been speaking to me since my dads accident. Apparently he can forgive me for working fair and being gone during the day, but being totally gone so much is inexcusable. Last week, after getting to lay eyes on him again, I gave him a heavier duty wormer to see if that perked him up. So far nothing.
Last night I had Greg catch him and bring him to me. He flat won't come at all when I call him. He used to come, sit, and lay down on comand. Now he won't sit in the same room with me.
He's thin. He's puky looking. I had Greg run the other cats past me and they all look fine and dandy. Mine, half dead. So I opened him a cat of wet food expecting him to dove in and chew my arm off while I fought to open the damn lid (easy open my ass). For one thing, I had to open the can while not losing hold of the cat, he was not wanting to stay with me for anything. I think he holds a grudge. After I gave him the bowl he just looked at it. The other cats where swarming like sharks at a seal kill. He's not impressed. I finally coaxed him into eating it. It was no small feat, but thankfully didn't require me to taste test.
Tonight he got more canned food and hairball stuff and nutri-cal. He acts like he has sore teeth, so I inspected his teeth. I dont think that helped my standing on the grudge list for sure, but they looked ok. No abcesses that I could see and I pushed and proded quite a bit.
He keeps this up and I may have to resort to taking him to the vet. Where I'm sure they will tell me he has a upper respitory infection because I think that's a standard answer for all generally ill cats. In the mean time we're going to give him canned food once a day (they have dry all day long) and hairball and nutri-cal him as often as I can get him to stand still to be caught.
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In other news we went to Ross today. I hate Ross. I like Ross's prices, but I hate that store and 92% of the people who shop there. 100% of the people who work there are morons, and I know the manager. Bleh and ick.

But I scored a new wallet, 4 baking sheets (making my family hopeful I will use them), a steamer pot for pasta (making my family hopeful I will cook), and a few shirts for my spoiled child and rotten husband. I tried to talk myself into a ceramic baking dish with lid and serving rack, but it was red. If it had been blue or green or that lovely "honey dipped" brown, we'd have had one. They had a big ceramic honey dipped brown roasting pan with inner rack that if it would have had a lid we would have had it. Alas nothing was the right combo so I left the ceramic there. Probably for the best, my family is kinda hard on ceramic.
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Right now my floor is sitting with flea killer powder on it that I need to vacumm up. I may let it sit there all night and do it in the AM.

I'm making cinnimon rolls tomorrow. My dough in the fridge so I need to pull it out to rise in the AM. I have to cheat and use someone elses dough. For some reason (we think its the salt) I kill dough quicker than shit that needs to rise. I can't even make canned bisquits that you pop out of a can. If I touch them they won't rise. My husband thought I was kidding until he watched for himself. That is one item I never have to worry about him asking me to make. LOL

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Sitting on the heat

Literally. I'm sitting on a heating pad because my legs feel like blocks of ice.

The rest of me is sweating. I've checked my circulation several times to make sure they (my legs) aren't turning blue or anything. There seems to be no reason for this. Just asshole legs with heating issues.

My ribs are feeling better, thanks for asking. Keeping them wrapped tight overnight seemed to help alot, as I'm sure did putting the ice on it last night. Thanks Greg!

We need to go shopping tonight but my feet are aching they are so cold.

Paychecks are trickling in, as are the bills. WOWZO. The new herds sure drove up costs. Thank god they pay well. One bill alone drove up 3x the pre-new herds cost. And lets not talk about UPS the ass fuckers.
We looked into other options but they pretty much have me over a barrel holding my ass.

Ok.. Brrrr......

Summer fun with Mom

Idea stolen from Poppycedes because all original ideas found here revolve around... OUCH MY F_ING RIBS HURT. Yes yes my friends my seemingly month affliction of a pinched nerve in my ribs is back. *insert much moaning and cussing here*

When I was a kid my mom would toss us kids in the car and just head out. Often she'd get to the end of a road and say, "Left or Right." If it was at night and we were "out for a drive" then we'd head out into the hills and explore dirt roads and driveways. We saw tons of wild critters and one of my foster brothers and I would sit in the back of my mom's old T-Bird and call out... OH there's an Owl, OH there's a deer, OH there's a skunk. I'm not sure I was much over 4 or 5 at the time. Once, on one outing, we hit a locked gate, on a very narrow dirt road with a drop off on one side and a cliff on the other. My mom had to turn that boat of a car around. I think it was close to a 55 thousand point turn. The whole time my brother and I sat on the floorboard in the back saying, "We're going to die, if we die, you feed the dogs ok.""If we die, you can have my baseball cards." Until my mother told us to "shut the hell up already no one was going to die, unless she killed us." So then we whispered.

Another crazy trip was going to Oregon for a night out. We drove up one day, stayed the night and spent the next day coming home doing touristy stuff. We had just walked through our front door when the phone rang and it was my Nana. My mother and her were talking and my sister and I heard her say, "sure we'll come get you. Umm, about 3 hours." So we hopped right back in the car and headed back out the oppisate direction. Right at the end of the road this time.

My mother always took us to the river every summer. She'd load up all the kids who were staying with us and load ice chests and boxes and cars and out we'd go. Sometimes just for a day away playing in the river, sunbathing and swimming. Sometimes for a week at the river camping. We always went. We always had a ton of "kids" with us and we always had fun.

What did you do with a parent that you enjoyed as a kid?

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Home Schooling

There has been some discussion about home schooling and home schooling strategy going around lately. As seen here.

So here's our take.


When we decided to home school last year it was for several reasons. The first and foremost was my son’s general health. Mentally and physically the stress of my rapidly deteriorating health and the general chaotic state of his public classroom where taking a huge toll on him. He was consumed with headaches and stomach pain. Getting through the day required muscle relaxers and bottles of "the pink stuff".

We did not blindly jump onto the home school bandwagon. We talked and discussed and dissected and talked to people who were and who had. We looked into options and plans. We also talked about what would be needed to keep him in public school.

Ultimately we took the plunge into life as a home schooling family. We actually left in the middle of a year. I would not recommend that. It worked out for us in the end but not without trials and tribulations. It’s hard to switch from a spoon fed classroom workload to a freer home schooling environment. It was hard for both Greg and I. I’m a little type A in that respect. I wanted ridged deskwork with times and timetables and do this exact and work on it until you have it correct and now now now now now!

This does not work with a child with stress related anxiety issues. All it amounted to was added stress to him and to me. Stress equals a sicker kid. And never let them tell you that they’ll get used to the stress and ‘get over it’. ‘Dealing’ with stress is a learning process much like learning to read. You have to learn to handle your stress load. In time, yes, you do learn to handle it and hopefully stop puking or stop your brain from trying bleed out your ears, however that takes time.

For the first few month of home school, and the last few months of 6th grade, we struggled to get our collective shit together. We had to learn what would work for us. We had to get a plan that would work with my job on the road and the amount of time we just aren’t home. Greg had to learn that he had to self-motivate to get this done. He couldn’t wait and cram everything into the night before his teacher was to arrive for him to turn in his work. It did not work for me to yell, stomp, demand, structure, or plan. Nor did it work for me not to structure and plan some. He had to fail a few times and turn in shoddy work to his teacher (We have a full time accredited teacher who works with us weekly.) who I had given free rein to bust his chops. He redid assignments that I had said were inadequate and he thought were ‘fine’. Our learning curve was a little like jumping off a cliff blindfolded and praying someone had put a net out. We got through the first months surprisingly scuff free. I felt Greg was getting a much firmer grasp on what was being taught in every subject. We could work at his pace whatever that might be. We adjusted his work to suit him as we went. We are terribly luck with the teacher we have. She caught on to Greg’s weaknesses without me having to point them out and pushed him to work harder to make up for them. Challenging him to prove her wrong and challenges he never backs down from.

We could have chosen to go back to public school this year after we had passed the hump with Greg’s and my illness. However, this is working so well for him I hate to break it. So we started off 7th grade home schooling again.

This year is so much different than last year. Greg doesn’t feel the need to test his teacher, either of us. He is almost totally self-motivated to do his own work without being reminded or asked. He is blowing through his science at a rate that even amazed his teacher and is totally enthralled in history. For the first time ever he said “I want to be a… when I grow up” and it wasn’t a spaceman or a bike rider. ;-) (It was a historian, btw.)

We do not have a schedule to our day. We don’t get up at a certain time and start work at a certain time. He is required by me to do school work every single day. He works mostly on days when I am working because he has little else to do. I don’t care what piece of work he does. He can do all his history, then all his math, or a little of each every day. I do have to remind him on “off” days that he needs to get work done. It’s easy to get caught up in running around and not take/leave time for schoolwork. I’m guilty of cramming too much into a week and not leaving him time for his work and actually having to stop, make time for him to stop, and take time.

It was especially hard when my dad was sick. Oh sure it’s easy to toss the books in the car and say you’re going to get to it. It’s different to pack those books from waiting room to waiting room and actually do the work.

So that’s how we do it. I’m not a very structured teacher. I’m not a lazy teacher either. Mostly just laid back. I have a student that works well that way. Where getting him to work on homework for public school was a nightmare in itself, this he just does without pushing. He’s responsible for his success and he wants to succeed on his own.

The only thing Greg asked was that I not be his sole teacher. We have the option of seeing a teacher as little as once a month. He is afraid (and probably totally correct) that I would pile the work on and all he would ever do was schoolwork. While I’d like to say, NO WAY, he’s right. I still want to do that now. This way he has a set minimum he has to turn in, unless he doesn’t get something and had a hard time working through it, or we needed to spend more time on a concept to really understand it. If that happens I go with him to his teacher meeting and tell her what we changed or did. That way we are both responsible.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

I recently saw a leash (there all fixed ;-P) *nudge nudge* "somewhere" that reads "One of us is a bitch". Today I know which one that is. After spanking my puppy for not minding my son pipes up, as the dog sends me a scathing look, talking for the dog, "Well, one of us is a bitch."

Not funny.

Ok. Funny.

I'm cranky. This IS my happy face. Dammit.

Then to turn on my computer tonight to download my work for tomorrow and send my paperwork from last week... no internets to be found. WTH?

Hubby yanked out my phone cord from the house in his mad raking of the side yard. Then denied. And argued. And then yelled at me? Oh poor choice my dear when I'm on edge. I can yell louder, longer, and much more proficiently than you. Remember when you laughed about the neighbors girlfriend muttering around their house calling him names from within while you all stood in the driveway. They live 4 doors down. Bet they heard most of what I said. And *gasp* I did it while mostly not cussing. This is HUGE. I didn't want to teach the children next door anything new, because dude, their bedroom I could spit in.

We thought we lost two goats today. Turns out Greg is blind. Or one really fat white goat can blend into the dirt. Which ever you choose to believe.

We hauled hay in the break today. A few more months worth of really heavy hay. Poundage wise I should only have to feed one bale a feeding, too bad the flakes don't measure out right. It will be interesting to see how much they eat versus waste. That's always the challenge with new hay.

No other news. Work tomorrow in Arcata then in Fortuna on Tues. Another day another dollar, or so they say.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Pudding and applesauce

WOO HOOO. My dad has been upgraded to pudding and applesauce. Nothing else. No ice cream or anything, but at least he can swallow something. I'm sure he's well on his way to planning his first big meal. (Steak and potatoes guaranteed) He has a pact with Greg already to eat out the kitchen continuously. He foolishly thinks he can keep up with Greg. Ha. Dude. Have you *seen* him? And you. You haven't been able to eat for 30 days. You better train before you throw down that challenge.

We had a little rain. It doesn't feel too much cooler. Today I'm going to toss out some fertilizer on the field in case we have more rain.

Remember that Wii neckache I was complaining about? It reared it's head all weekend as a full fledged sprung neck. I could hardly move my head and had a hard time even standing up. Frankly it's still today bad. I'm off to the chiropractor to see his he can spin a little magic because all the normal tricks aren't working and a few days of limited sleep is ok, but we're at a week now. Damn Wii. How sad is it to say that you hurt yourself playing a video game. *pfttt*

I gave Flower the border collie a bath yesterday while it was hot/humid. Now she looks like I stuck her paw in a light socket. She was less than impressed with the tied to the fence bathing approach.
She was like, Dude I'm old, do you see this face:
It spells OLD, and you're bathing me in COLD water. OUTSIDE? Hello, Bathtub? Warm water? *Sigh*

And this? We aren't even talking about this violation of space. OMG. I *think* she *might* have licked me.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Grrr.... lots of money out and people aren't paying yet. I hate having to send a second notice. *Sigh*

This is my least favorite part of business. For someone else I like bookkeeping. For myself it is a part I don't mind leaving to the end.

I am good about getting my initial bills right out. It's just the follow through that I dislike. It was much easier to track in my head when there were only 6 herds. Now that there are 13, I had to make a chart. It helps me not get antsy too. Sometime I start getting antsy for the money within a week and I have to remind myself people need time to get paid too. *grumble*

This is why I don't like driving either. I get antsy. I want to be there NOW. I spent all that time packing/preparing/prepping now I want to be there RIGHT NOW. Reason I should have a helicopter. Or be able to teleport.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Today was Gregs birthday and we went and found him the gift he's been wanting. Several hundred dollars poorer and we headed home with our new toy.

Sadly Bill had to be at work early for Greg and I got a few hours to play without Mr Knowitall at home to direct and command, though he's never seen the damn thing before either. Greg and I have a good time together figuring stuff out.

Only now Zelda has pissed me off. 2 hours to figuring out how to manipulate two controllers of different types in human form and the bastards changed me into a wolf. End my patients.

So now I have a Wii neck ache. Tomorrow Wii will get back to Zelda after some more math gets done.

It's just not right to work up a sweat playing baseball on a video game. Really. (That was not me.) I'm the one who's neck cramped up while boxing. Who knew my own arms were so weak. I'm going to have to get into shape to keep this up. Ohhh.... they have a game for that!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Nothing to see here. Same old Same old. There are just so many ways I can tell you about cow ass and cow milk and cow barns before it's just old and frankly that's all I see or do lately.

Last nights test too just about 1 hour and 30 minutes. It took me longer to drive up and back. If they didn't milk at exactly the same time as everybody else I could get 3 Arcata herds done at once with help.

We got there way too early so we wondered around Arcata for a while. We went to Wildberries and it was very cool in there, people watching was interesting. It always is in Arcata. Then we went to the pet store where a fellow LJ'er works and chit chatted for a while. They have an aviary you can walk into and the birds are loose, but the Macaw at the door kept me outside. Birds scare the crap out of me. Little bastards hate me. Which actually includes chickens. I have a story about getting the crap pecked out of me by chickens when I was a little girl.
Anyhow, they had just the thing I've been looking all over for and have been too lazy to order from the interwebs. Now I have it and need to find a bottle for it, now my crated puppy (he's 9 years) will have all the water he wants.

On the dad front he seems good. I went to visit last night and he was not in any hurry for us to leave but I had to feed Greg before he actually threw himself on the floor and flailed around. They took out the nasal feeding tube and inserted the tummy one on Monday. They had a little scare with it yesterday but were told all is normal. Now it's time to start throat therapy. Therapy on the legs will start again, we hope, after they meet with the surgeon who did the hip.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Put off and finally done

Finally the bucks are out with the does. There was some chasing going on, but not too much hubbalo really. My young ober buck was totally into the does who were much more into beating the snot out of him. He didn't care.

That's one chore taken care of.

Sarah. 192 2x4's in a unit he is almost positive. Price would depend on the length you want. He'll get a quote when he knows that.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Take a picture of yourself. Don't fix your hair. Don't edit.




Pfft. You're lucky I did this one. First.. my printer HATES all other USB related products and eats them upon plug in. THEN you have to figure out which button on the damn camera to press from the other side.... and the power button AIN'T it. (TWICE!!)

And NO editing? Are you nuts? O.M.G. I couldn't even cut out the background? However I did take off my 02 for the picture. Some things... just do not need to be recorded for all the internets. If I could have figured out how to hold the camera straight, press the correct button with one hand, I'd have flipped this shot the bird. I HATE to have my picture taken.

Sarah get away with it cuz I like her camera. She still gets lots of shots of me all cranky and stern looking.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Well that took less time than I thought. Home just over a week and already doesn't want me to visit. Frankly I'm shocked he held up the hole time he was in the hospital/rehab.

So tomorrow, on my way to or from my milk test next door, I'll drop off the last of the paperwork I have from the accident time and his money clip. I'll offer to cover for my aunt and uncle anytime they want to leave or get away. I'll stop in once a week and try to call, but I won't be going out like I have been. We'll see how that goes. I may not be going out at all.

Friends first family last just like always. So much for hoping for something different.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

My dad is heading home today. My Aunt and Uncle are bringing him in their motor home because insurance wouldn't cover the ride, even after we checked on this BEFORE he went to UCDavis, and received the OK.

I'm going out to meet with the delivery people to take delivery of the hospital bed and wheelchair. They should be there this afternoon, maybe late morning if he hauls ass making his deliveries, we're last.

We have our fingers crossed he will be released early this AM. It's going to be a very long trip in the motor home even without my dad in there.

So it looks like, for now, things will calm down on the traveling front.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Rumor has it my daddy-o might just be headed home on Wednesday.
Which is GREAT. Only that means that the ortho in Redding didn't clear my dad for heavier therapy on the leg, which is kinda a bummer. He'll just have to wait till Oct.

Another swallow test and more x-rays are holding up the final decision. Swallowing means coming home with or without a feeding tube. He'd be happier w/o. Though the thought of coming home is making him very happy.

Me too.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Hi 4 dear readers

We are at the Kiwanis house in Sacramento. God help me this town blows chunks.
Obviously I have computer access here at the Family House.

First, yesterday when we were comming here we ended up on the wrong Interstate because I took a short cut which really was shorter, but I got nervous and got off of it before I should have and ended up in Vacaville, about 40 miles SOUTH of where I needed to be. Luckily the route back put me on I-80 which actually made my transition in Sac. much easier to find the hospital. About 2:00 my aunt called to tell me that Redding hadn't shipped our package yet (my dad) and he wasn't antisipated to leave until 4. It was 5 when we got to the Kiwanis house and we waited for work on my dads arrival. We got the call that he was in the air and where on the 144 acre campus we would find him. We arrived at the main hospital and found the tower, farthest from parking garage and main enterance, and floor, very top, that he was on. My aunt entertained me with stories of their trip to the Jack in the Box for lunch.
After about 30 minutes my dad arrived no worse for wear and we got him situated in his very private, ultra secure, pass through two door and scrub in the middle, room.
We left him last night knowing they were going to get a couple x-rays and put him back into traction on his neck antisipating surgery today or tomorrow.

This morning we got up at 6am. No really, I got up at 5:45. I just waited till the alarm went off to wake up Greg and to roll out of bed. We got up and went into the kitchen. (We went shopping last night {bad idea} and bought some groceries because we have a kitchen here) It was bagels for me and a mini pizza for Greg, plus SODA! We trudged across the parking lot to the shuttle pick up to head to the hospital by 7am, when we thought we'd meet the Drs. On the way my uncle called and wanted to see if I could call the shuttle they wern't answering their phone and were supposed to be running. The shuttle shelter has a direct line phone... no answer there either. But the little phone said to call police dispatch after hours. OK. So I did. Walla, shuttle. We made the trek 44 thousand miles to my dads room and found him sleeping. They had kept him up all night running tests, taking x-rays, putting him in traction.

Right now we are resting at the Kiwanas house. My uncle is with my dad. He feels pretty isolated and yesterday the severity of the surgery ahead started to set in. This AM when the BIG Dr came to see him it really hit him hard THIS IS NO JOKE. Serious. Bad. Could go HORRIBLY wrong. We are all hoping for the best, but you always plan and ready yourself for the worst. Well you try anyway.

The sad/sick part of it? It wouldn't have been as hard of a surgery if they had seen him sooner. It's an old break now. It's not healed by any means, but the tendons and muscles have hardened since this happened. If his attending in Redding hadn't decided to wait 6 weeks to follow up on him, even though we asked and asked it might have been different. As it is the DR here decided to x-ray his hip too. It's not his focus, but if it is in as bad of shape then it may need to be addressed too. I think my dad is feeling a little defeated. Like the last 8 weeks have been totally wasted. *Sigh*

I think we are all feeling a little defeated. Getting through this procedure tomorrow and knowing all this X's and O's function will make us all breath easier. But now that may be held up while they insert a blood filter in case the clots in his legs break loose, if they are still there. They will scan for those today and check his shoulder for a break!? The DR here does NOT think the pain in his shoulder is from the neck but from a possible rotator cuff (?) break. What the fuck? We've been asking about that shoulder since DAY ONE. And we were assured over and over and over.... no no no it's his neck, differed pain... blah blah blah. DR today says shoulder pain is not usually where neck injury pain is defered to. Grrrrrrrr.

So PLEASE pray to whoever you believe in that this surgery tomorrow goes well and that the DR and his team have a steady hand. (They should, most of them look 16!) They will go in from the back of his neck, then the front, then the back again to correct the whole problem, as long as my dad stands the surgery well.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Money is good.
10 less mouths to feed is GREAT.
Getting as much or more money for the goats as I offered a local buyer.... PRICELESS.

Dumb ass.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Last week at a glance.

  • Finished up fair paperwork on Monday.
  • Milk tested and learned on of my dads best friends passed away on Tuesday. Debated leaving for Redding immediately rather than in morning.
  • Left early in morning to arrive for breakfast with Dad on Wednesday. Spent whole day other than nap time and took Greg shopping then. Also had to find self dress cloths for funeral. Found out self is minuscule-y smaller than self thought. Self should eat more.
  • Spent Thursday with dad until nap time and then drove home. Ordered flowers for funeral before leaving. Witnessed dad cry more in 24 hours than I've seen in my whole life. Seriously debated springing dad for day to bring him to funeral.
  • Went to saddest funeral I've been to in a very long time Friday. My heart breaks for the family. Made plans at goats for new buck pen.
  • Spring cleaning in the fall today at the goats then at home tomorrow.
Next weeks plans?
Wash rinse repeat.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Ha! Now it's over!

One word about fair.

L
O
N
G


Holy hell. It's over though. I have a few more rounds of paperwork to get finished but I'm waiting on some paperwork to come in the mail in order to do that.

Tomorrow I go back on the schedule of testing and traveling.

I ache everywhere.

Today I ate my first real meal in 15 days. It was way too big. I think my stomach shrunk. But it did taste ohh so good. I'll be sorry in a few hours. My husband and son are emptying milk sample bottles so I am ready to milk test tomorrow, though Bill is going to start the herd for me and I'll some later to finish up. I need to rest still. I'm staying on my O2 most of today.

Edit: I just realized that makes it sound like I didn't eat for 15 days. No, no, but soda and jerky hardly count as a "real" meal. Or soda and Tylenol.

Saturday, July 26, 2008



This is what could happen in the blink of an eye. Think about that the next time you reach for a CD or reach to light a cigarette. I wish the driver of the other vehicle who hit my dad had.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Flattering...

or not.

I swear I'm getting a shirt that reads "I'm probably old enough to be your mother"

A twenty something admissions lady yesterday just about fainted when I told her I was almost 34. She swore I was 18, she even questioned whether I could sign for my father legally. HELLO? Yeah my dad, he was a really late bloomer. And the old smart ass, he chuckled.

After telling the front desk lady I was waiting for my son to bring in my purse so she could get a copy of a form for the above admissions lady, Greg walks in and she says, "That's your son? I thought you were brother and sister. How old ARE you?"

AURGH! While I try to remember that when I'm 60 I'll only look 40 and WOW think of all the advantages of that! Right now at 34 with a 5'5" 12 year old son... this sucks. I'm always making a point to say "Now son" or something similar. You have no idea how many times I've overheard how "cute" it was that we were out on a date. HA! My dates better not play their game player during dinner or they'd eat it.

Dye my hair? Cut it shorter? Pray my gray comes in faster?

The best was going out to dinner with my husband. I walk in first, then Greg, then Bill. The waitress looks right past me to Bill and says "Sir, will that be two children's menus." I grit my teeth and say, "No, that will be none." Grrr.....

I am smiling about it... Now. I think.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Things I have learned today.
  • It is easier to dial my friends numbers that to look for them in my phone directory. That is if I could remember the numbers. Who remembers numbers anymore? I have autosave for a reason.
  • I :PPH: my clients. Specifically the ones that say, Hey we can skip this month you have enough on your plate right now.
  • My schedule for the next 4 months is hectic. OMG!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Your result for The Camelot Test...

King Arthur


You value honor and equality. You are courageous and logical. While you may be passionate at times, you rarely let your emotion affect your decisions. You are (according to legend) probably the greatest monarch of all time.

Take The Camelot Test at HelloQuizzy

Friday, July 11, 2008

Home for a few days.
Work to do.
Rest to get. I hope.
Whining to do.
Conjunctivitis? Check.
Tooth ache? Check.
Ringworm? Check.
Rash from band-aid on throat? Check.
Heat rash everywhere else? Check.
Rubbed raw area on elbow from waiting in a hard armed chair. while holding jaw in hand during 8.5 hour surgery? Check.

Monday I'll get my horrible aching tooth taken care of so hopefully I can go back to redding and have a little less to give me a headache. Between the smoke and a cantankerous father I don't need anything else to make my head throb.

Update of the father figure.
He came through surgery fine. He did not however transition from anesthesia to pain medication fine. Holy hell. That was bad. Bad ugly and worse.
His hip was as bad as it could possibly be. His doctor said he only sees 2-3 like that in a year and then only maybe.
I hope and pray we do not have to have his neck operated on. I'm not sure I can take that again. Really. It was that bad. And people who know me know I deal with that shit really well. But hearing from your estranged fathers mouth these words, inbetween screams that he's dying, "Amy help me, I thought you said you loved me", not fun. Even though in my mind I know he doesn't mean it. Nor (did we think) would he remember it. He was in extreme pain. They had none of it managed as he'd been under for over 9 hours. Can you blame him? I don't. It still doesn't mean your heart doesn't sink when he says it. Frankly I'm just glad (honored?) that I was even on the list of people he asked for help. I wasn't the first, but I was near the top.
Today the girl who hit him sent him a get well card.
I'm not sure what I think of that. Nice? Thoughtful? Praying like hell we don't sue the shit out of her or better yet press charges?
Frankly I think she should have been made to sit there and watch him wake up, see the pain he was in, see what she's done to him, see the pain SHE caused. It's easy to go to that class for bad drivers and see that video and think oh those poor people. But what if that accident you have to watch is the one you caused. What if that person laying there is the person you hurt. Maybe then it would get through.
During my dads surgery there was a little girl, 16, brought in. Auto accident. Two shattered legs. They fixed those. You can't fix a brain.

Luckily my dads brain is fine. And his body will be too, in time.
I hope he realizes life is really short. Too short for grudges, hard feelings, egos, vanity, stubbornness. Life is too short to be alone.
I don't know. The jury is out on this one. I hope he gets it.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

I'm not even sure where to begin with this update.
I will for sure be out of touch from Tuesday until further notice.

As of this moment;

My father is off the respirator. He is on oxygen due to his sleep apnea. His neck is broken in two places but the halo is in place. He hates it. He can talk. God help them. :-) His right arm is in excruciating pain. They don't know why yet.

The leg injury that the truth was so elusive about is now all cleared up. They believe his knee hit the dash and drove his femur through his hip socket. His hip socket is in a million (ok not literally a million) pieces. His femur and the ball on it's end are in tact.

The surgery to repair the hip is life threatening. The hip is hemeraging but we can't see the bruising because he's been laid flat so it's all on his hind side. Not only will there be a team of orthopedic surgeons there but also a vascular team on call in case anything goes wrong. The surgery will take at least 8 hours.

If he survives this surgery then we are talking at LEAST 3 months of rehab. We are hoping that at least the first 3 weeks can be spent there and then done here with appointments over there.

The hospital thought he had no insurance. We have no idea where his wallet went. Now knowing he has insurance the rehab can fall into place we hope.

Please keep us in your thoughts. The smoke is horrible there. I'm just glad that I don't have to worry about it much as I can hide out in the hospital and not be in it much. Not to mention it's supposed to be 112 there tomorrow.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

This post will be long or short. I'm not sure. It depends on how "it" flows today.

On Thursday July 3rd I received a call that my father had been in a horrible car accident and was in critical condition at Mercy Medical. As it turns out he wasn't in critical condition when he arrived, just broken in several places and in need of a really good set of surgeons to put him together again. Then they decided to do an exploratory surgery on his stomach and when they intubated them he aspirated. Badly. That sent him into Critical, might not make it through the night, stage. So, my aunt and uncle and my family hopped in cars are went flying for the hospital 3 hours away. We arrived at midnight and went in to see him. He looked rough. He's in traction from both ends, on a ventilator, and has sever chemical burns on his rear end from sitting in the gas. He's going to have a hell of a shiner too.
So at this point the injuries are;
broken neck at C4
shattered femur at the hip
chemical burns of the backside
aspiration
kidney shut down

So I guess what I'm telling you; my 4 faithful readers; is I may not be around much.
I will be running over there for every surgery, but much to my aunts disdain I am not dropping everything and moving there to be with my drug induced coma father. I think she final got it last night. If I kill myself now trying to run back and forth all the time I won't be able to be here when he needs us the most, when he's awake and "up".
As it is we pulled an all nighter to drive there, to see him, and drive back. I spent all day yesterday getting my dads truck out of impound.

On man I forgot to publish this and today was a real ring dinger.

I don't have the energy to update about it.

I'll be back Monday. Maybe.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

I received "the call" today. This is the much anticipated call that I had decided I wasn't going to get.
No not the call that says HEY your goats are sold.
But the call that says your business just doubled.

I'm meeting with him next week.

Right now I'm really thankful I have friends that will come help at the drop of a hat. A family who's really supportive. A clients who totally rock.

This batch includes another large herd. 600+ in Ferndale. That will make my help happy. Though I'm sure she's thinking... crap more cows. Or possibly crap, more cow crap.

That last herd was just too dirty. I was not happy about that. I don't mind cows really. Cow crap doesn't matter to me much. I usually do not get that dirty in a pit barn. Flat barns, yes, because, well, cow crap splatters and when it falls from 4' it tends to really splatter, like all over my legs. This last barn the cows would crap and it would splash into the pit, which is at my torso level. I got shit on my face. That is not acceptable. Wonder if they would notice if I wore a full face mask. :-)

I have to purchase a gift (?) for someone as a thank you. This is my reminder. They may get it for Hanukkah. I'm really slow like that.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Well I started the new drug yesterday. I'm taking it on top of all the others they have me on. What the hell right? What won't cure me might kill me.

I'm coughing in the AM again like I used to. Which is saying something. That means it's productive and not a constant dry hacking cough. Gross huh? Don't you wish you came here everyday to read this. *hello, are you still here?*

My son is an absolute blessing. Yesterday in the mayham that is my husbands inability to be rational, he was a god send. He walked up to me and patted my back while I sobbed. I hate that he even sees any of this. Unfortunately full on warfare is how my husband was raised. He doesn't see "a time and place". Frankly when he freaks out he doesn't "see" at all. This is what he sought counseling for before. And like before he doesn't see it in himself. Only this time G is old enough to point it out to him also, though I've told him a million times to keep his mouth shut. Anyone how knows my spawn (lol) will know that he will not keep his mouth shut for long. I think that is a fight that might turn really really ugly. Boys and their mothers and all.

So today we are off to work.

This weekend we are off to work at the goats. Bill wants to "get away" for a day. (Did I mentin he just got home from NASCAR?) I don't. I hate traveling or socializing, can't walk for far, don't like shopping (again with the walking), don't want to drive (have you been to the pump lately), hate being indoors, but can't get far from home and be outside due to the smoke. So. I'm giving him that criteria and saying, sure you figure something out. Get back to me on that.

Meanwhile I'll be with my goats. Outside. In clean air. Enjoying myself. Probably in the sun. Possibly alone.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Well glad I didn't have my heart set on this one.

The goat show this weekend has been canceled. Due to fire. While I'm rather bummed since this would be my last show this year, I'm rather relieved too. On one hand the goats I was taking are looking really good and I really think they stood a good chance. On the other hand I wasn't looking forward to a weekend of rolling eyes, cell phones, generally being ignored, fighting, heat, and then smoke.

Lightening is God's little way of letting me off easy.
UGH and UGH and EWWW and BLEH.

That should cover it.

Heard from my DR today. The culture is back. Take the drug I was taking. Before now but not way before now. So the one in the middle. The expensive one. Yeah me.

On that note the prednisone did as prescribed. I feel MUCH better. However, I'm on the downhill slide of it and can feel the pressure building back up. The new antibiotic should help that. I hope.

My hubby is an irrational asshole today. This I did not need. I mean who ever needs it? Right? But today I could have used him to be a little less irate and a hole lot more rational. I mean really? You slept all day yesterday. Claiming it was too wet to mow yards. Ask for G to help you today, because you have to have all this work done by tomorrow. Then you DRIVE OFF AND LEAVE HIM HOME because of something I said to you. Something along the lines of, you probably should have gotten some of this done YESTERDAY. I call and offer to go out of my way to drop him off, thinking you just forgot him. You SCREAM at me. The woman you just left coughing up blood clots and gasping for air. You screamed at me? Do you know how dead that could make you? Ummmm get a grip much?

Ok so end hubby rant. I'm over it. He's clueless. But I'm not going to point that out. It's like not seeing the forest for the trees.
*************************************************************

My goats are looking pretty good.
I wish I could get these damn kids sold. It looks like a trip to Petaluma is in order. I'll haul a bunch of misfits if I have to go that far just to make it worth the haul.

Tomorrow I work at the dairy of mystery. Ha. I haven't been able to get into the barn since their remodel so this hole thing will be a mystery. My faithful employee will be there to hold my hand so it will all work out ok. Either that, or we'll both leave the whole mess to G and he can figure it out. It's taken me 3 trips to get enough hose to make all the pieces I needed just to connect the meters. And it's not that I can't measure. I swear. Measure twice cut once. Nothing was as disheartening as getting to the end of the roll yesterday and realizing I was 3 feet short. UGH!

Goats again. All re-clipped and as ready for the show as they are going to get. They still look a little mothy, but I don't give a rip now. We have to scratch one ober because she has a fungal (not ringworm) patch on her ear and cheek. One of the "other" guys kids came with the same crud on the base of her ear. We treated and moved on. Whatever ya know? It's actually the right time frame to have been something they picked up at the last show too. Which could/would mean ringworm, except this is not like any ringworm I've ever seen. The pens we use there house pigs, sheep, goats, calves... you name it the rest of the year, so who knows what bugs might be in there. Just goes to show we need to get back to spraying everything again. :-(

Sunday, June 22, 2008

The bobble head goat of yesterday is getting better. Tonight she's more like, bobble muzzled goat.

Not sure what caused the swelling because as a precautionary I threw everything I could think of at her yesterday to "make sure" to cover all my bases. The problem with that is you never know for SURE what the problem was.

Could have been bees. Could have been a reaction to the new wormer. Could have been a reaction from the worms dieing. Though really I didn't think she was overloaded, I wormed them because it was time, not so much because I saw a need.

Friday, June 20, 2008

We remember



A year ago today our hearts broke for a friend and a father.
Today our thoughts are with him still.
For Puppy Monster

wha?

78 freaking degrees and RAINING?

Huge BIG cold drops. Oh yeah... no humidity. No wonder I've felt like poop.

Wait, weight, weighed

For all the thinking that my kids might be a little on the scrawny side... I should just stick a fork in myself.

We weighted a wormed all the dam raised kids today. They are between 43 (for the one I was sure was under 30) and... wait for it... 75 freakin' pounds. 7-5, seventy five. POUNDS! She's only 4 months old for gods sake. I could almost breed her NOW!

Lord I guess their doing ok. We somehow missed one. I know she was in a caught up, so I'm thinking she slipped through the fence, grrr. She's one to sell so I'm pretty sure she's ok weight wise. I just need to make a phone call and move out these 6 does and 1 buck. I have more to sell that actually don't even belong to me, they are even "OK" weight wise. 35 or so for the bigger ones. I'm just going to get them a little bigger.

I found one really nice kid in the bunch and was a little bummed because I thought she was out of a doe I had decided to keep, which means she would be sold. Wasn't I happy to get home and discover she is actually out of a doe I'm selling. Woo Hoo she gets to stay. She's really nice too. And might make breeding weight this year too. Not that I'm going to breed for milking yearlings, they rarely compete in the show ring.

BTW it's hot today. H-O-T. Have I mentioned before how much I do not like the heat. It is because it makes me cough. Coughing does not make me look pretty. Red face, bulging veins, not pretty.

On an added note. I need to hire a full time/ part time employee it seems. Takers? *Wink* *Wink* Hint hint? More on that when I hear more, but it seems I may be *cough* expanding. And we're not talking about my ass people.

I'm afraid of 5 out of 72 fears

Yanked from Conscience

72 Common Fears

[ ] the dark
[ ] staying single forever
[ ] being a parent
[ ] giving birth
[x ] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[ ] closed spaces
[ ] heights
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[ ] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants

Total so far: 1

[ ] being touched
[ ] fire
[ ] deep water
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[ ] the ocean
[ X ] failure
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[ ] boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[ ] rats
[x ] jumping from high places
[ ] snow

Total so far: 3

[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing hanging bridges
[ ] death
[ ] heaven
[ ] being robbed
[ ] falling
[ ] clowns
[ ] dolls
[ ] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibilities
[ ] doctors, including dentists
[ X ] tornadoes

Total so far: 4

[ ] hurricanes
[ ] incurable diseases
[ ] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] ghosts
[ ] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[ ] being alone
[ ] becoming blind
[ X] becoming deaf
[ ] growing up

Total so far: 5

[ ] creepy noises in the night
[ ] bee stings
[ ] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[ ] needles
[ ] blood
[ ] dinosaurs (Wha?)
[ ] the welcome mat
[ ] high speed
[ ] throwing up
[ ] falling in love
[ ] super secrets

Final Total: 5

And yet I totally don't feel fearless.

if you wish to post this in your journal, it's been requested that you title it I'm afraid of _ out of 72 common fears...

If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling
If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid.
If you get 10-20, you are normal.
If you get 10 or less, you’re fearless.
People who don’t have any are liars.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Slightly Juvenile

So tonight while running into Fortuna to grab dinner this white car sounding like a lawnmower pulled up next to me at a light and reved his motor. I'm thinking... WTH? Do you not see I'm in an SUV for god's sake, and a small one at that? Is your self esteem THAT low? But whatever baby, mama's feeling alright and no lawnmower is about to beat me off the line so bring it, beeotch. I look over at my 12 year old son and say, Ha dude wants to race. And he says, Mom, he's so going to take you with his Big Mexican Woman (his terms for a BMW).

Guess who won?

Not the little white lawnmower.

Ha. When he pulled back along side of me I wonder what he thought when he looked over and realized he'd been beat by an OLD person. Muuwwaaahahah. An old person in a jimmy with a 6cly. HA HA HA. Pfft. Lawnmower.

On a total other note.

Why do some gay men talk like they are? I mean, I don't think their voice would normally be so high pitched, and really, even if it was, who adds all those S's and Phhtttt's to their words. It reminded me of someone talking to a baby in baby talk. Awwsss arrenn't youss soo sweetss. Shhesh I can't even recreate it. And it drives me nuts. Dude I don't care one bit that your gay. Your boyfriend was hot, go you! But dude, stop talking like that. It's soooo unattractive. It's not nasal, it's not horse, so it doesn't seem to be a physical reason, it's like, it's like your TRYING to sound gay. It's the voice comedians use to "talk" like a gay man.

STOP IT. Just don't do it. Find your real voice. Use it. You'd be much easier to converse with. My brain does not switch into "translate baby talk mode" very fast anymore. Plus I found it mildly amusing that you seemed to be a baby-phobe. Ok that child was highly annoying but she was cute. I think the grimace you made when she smiled and waved saying hi was priceless.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Home again Home again... blah blah blah

So this morning I was the queen of the walk-in. I walked into the chiropractor and said FIX this rib again please.
Then I walked in and waited for freakin' ever to see the MD. He let me have my way, he's good like that, and we're trying what USED to work. This not breathing shit is for the birds. So I'm on prednisone for like 14 days. To say that I'll be an irritable bitch for the next week or so might be an understatement, BUT I should be an irritable bitch WHO CAN BREATH! I always warn people (this is your warning) when I'm on this stuff. Sometimes... ehh nothing.. a little moody maybe. Sometimes? Holy hell raging bitch, and I KNOW it but seem to have little power to contain the rage. I actually have been known to say "I realize I'm yelling and being totally irrational, but I CAN"T STOP." It's like well and it fills with irritation and then it overflows and you are powerless to stop it. And trust me sandbagging doesn't help. Because when you blow the next time.... 10 times as ugly.

We're also, FINALLY, going to have a sputum culture done. I haven't had one done in some 12 or more years. We (when we=the two numbnuts treating me) really have no idea what we're battling and are going off of what's normal. HA. When have I ever done anything normally?

Btw. Prednisone makes me hungry. Got food?

Friday, June 13, 2008

I'm not a crier. Really. Step on my toe and I'm more likely going to cuss a blue streak and punch you in the eye than cry.

So why was I sitting in my bed at 4 am this morning sobbing like a baby? Damn nerves. My back, specifically the area where my ribs attach to my spinal column was out. Which sends "phantom" (where phantom=sticking a knife in my ribs and twisting it) pains around to the front of my ribs. It feels exactly like a broken rib and the pains are your bodies warning to not draw to large of a breath to protect said broken rib.
Only my ribs?
NOT broken.

The sad part of all this is I'm so congested right now that I am having a hard time drawing a deep breath normally. Now. Add to that a knife like shooting pain every time you draw half a breath.

SO first thing this morning I went to the chiropractor and he put me back together again. The ribs will probably go out again. The headache is probably from stress and the ear? This damn ear that's been "plugged" for 2 weeks? He got it to pop! It stayed that way for a while, but has since plugged and unplugged a few times.

So... ribs aren't hurting as bad.
Blood pressure is through the fricking roof.
Lungs are topped off with crap.
Head is hurting and "thick".

It's sunny and nice outside.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

That cold I was complaining about. Is.totally.kicking.my.ass.

I'm more than a little relieved that my Friday job cancelled. Ok don't tell, but I'm like THANK FUCKING GOD they canceled. My new best friend is my oxygen machine. I'm like tied to the damn thing and not in a good way ya know?

If my line gets hooked on my chair one more time and I almost rip off my nose, I might cry.

My lungs sound like an old geezers battle zone. With all the wheezing and popping and gurgling going on in there you'd think I was percolating. *Ding* Coffee's done.

I have a really sick goat and I don't give a damn. No no it's not that I REALLY don't give a damn, it's that I can't muster the energy to care. I DID something about it, I gave G a fatty shot and said, "here stick her with *cough*wheeze*hack* this and put some *hack*wheeze* hay in with....... *gasp for air*wheeze*wheeze*wheeze* her." Shit. It takes me like 3 minutes to finish a damn sentence if I get worn out first. And by wearing me out, that means walking more than 5' or coughing more than oh, twice.

So yeah, tomorrow, after running to get some milk for the babies, I'm sitting here on my machine and doing nada. Maybe a little nothing, but that will be pretty much it. If I can have my way that is.

So tomorrow will be the day the fence will fall down, the goat will get sick, the roof will blow off, the water will break, the barn will catch fire (again) and Bill will get hurt at work.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I am entirely too tired. I'm sitting here with my sweats on my lap rather than putting them on because standing up just sounds like too much work.

It took an hour for them to wash up tonight. An hour. Which means I couldn't even start to break down until 6:45. Alone. Well, with G. But we usually have an abundance of help there, at least 4 guys come to help us tear down. Now, since we're starting milking at the new brilliant hour of 10:50 AM the chore guys aren't done in time to help tear down. Grrrreeeaaattttttt. Bleh. Then off to milk the goats and feed the babies entirely too little milk.

We got allll the way home and realized we were out of dog food, still.

Crap.

Monday, June 9, 2008

I am so glad that show is over. I'm thinking more and more that I just dislike showing. I like hanging out and watching and seeing people and people watching, but ehhh the rest, no mater how well or poor we do, I just don't care.

I was so glad we were able to haul out early on Sunday. We did not stay to show our bucks, because really? What was the point. Half the togg bucks went home before me and I only entered my buck to make them official anyway. Next year, nope, not happening.

Today I soundly hit a wall and feel like crap. The crap in my lungs is like dried rubber cement and I'm sitting here on my o2 already. The antibiotics seem to be doing nothing right now either.

Tomorrow I work at 11 am. I have to be there at 9am to set up. I hope I can hold my shit together through the day. So today is a day of rest.

I'm weak and dreary enough that I just want to close my eyes and stop breathing. Literally that's what my mind is telling me it needs. Umm... NO.

We did take all the kids from here out to the goat property. I need to move some of these weanable kids. But that means making a phone call and I just don't have the energy for that right now.