Monday, October 12, 2009

A word of Caution

Just word of caution for all my dear friends in case you are ever in the position to wear oxygen and are still upright and capable of moving. Or a word to the wise for all my smoking friends... *ahem*

1) The 20ft hose will get caught on everything. It hurts like hell when yanked. Think reins on a horse, only through your nose.
2) It is highly annoying when some steps on it, because DUDE, it's attached to my NOSE for gods sake.
3) Equally annoying when you step on it yourself, only without the satisfaction of anyone to yell at for stepping on it.
4) Kittens will think it's a great toy.
5) They will flop their fat bodies on it and expect you to drag them through the house. *I'm looking at you, Evil.*
6) Husbands will forget about it after a while and hook their foot in it, ripping it totally off your face, and barley blink, while you are holding your nose making sure it's still attached. As soon as you can catch your breath from the pain, you can commence yelling, but the spry bastard has escaped the house.
7) You will wake up at least once a night wrapped up like a friggin' mummy in 20 ft of hosing.
8) You will learn not to roll completely over, you will learn to roll from side to side to keep 7 from happening.

I'm sure I could think of more, but these will get you off to a good start in case you are ever in this position. Which for the love of god don't be.
I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep if I ever get to retire George. I'm kinda used to him humming in the room and the hiss of the O2 in my head all night.