Thursday, April 26, 2007

I feel like ass. Actually I feel like a little like Avi's ass. Pinched and restrained without all the hair.

Let's start this off with the track and field meet where they don't actually HAVE the events my son competes in.

FIRST we can't find the meet. We go to the school who is hosting the event, they don't HAVE a track. I quickly call our school (thank you speed dial) and they tell me the event is at the high school..... across town. SHIT!
NEXT we arrive at the stadium. It's at the bottom of a large steep hill. Have I mentioned before I don't breath very well. Hills and I, not such good friends. Getting to the meet will be no problem. I'm not so sure I can get back to my car, but more about that later.
SO we traverse the hill into the stadium to find, none of our team is there yet and we're late. Oh, not good. Finally we find our coach who materialized out of thin air. Luckily it's sunny but pretty windy.
THEN Gee goes up to, listen closely, SOFTBALL throw. This is the boy who is a discus and shot put thrower, six and eight pounds each. We're throwing a SOFTBALL? You have got to be shitting me. He threw 125 feet. That's home plate to center of center field.
NEXT is Long jump. Why long jump you ask? Some things white boys shouldn't do, play basketball and JUMP! (and in his case, sing or dance.) Why is because they don't HAVE discus, they don't have shot put for gods sake, no way they would have an event where it requires a cage. He's a thrower not a jumper but they must do two events.
Long jump. Oh what fun that was. First off my son looked like a giant in a sea of midgets. The kid in front of him in line went to sign in and says in that high pitch, squeaking because it's changing voice "I'm in 5th grade". Gee standing like a foot and a half taller behind him growls "I'm in 5th grade" and the dude running the event took a step back.
He jumped 9'10".
As we're leaving I was praising him on his great first attempt at jumping. I say "Hey the longest jump I saw was 10'." (right here is where I can't exactly remember word for word what he said) He said something along the line that that BOY (who jumped that) was his age or something... I said "Yeah SHE was in 5th grade."
To this he says "I got beat by a GIRL?!"
Ha. And then it shows he's 11.
So after all that. I now have a whopping cough. It's been creeping up for days now. It's the weather I'm sure. I'm tired and cranky and I HATE coughing like this. I don't actually mind coughing. I hate when they hurt. My sides and head aches. GRRR. I think my hair hurts.
My sick goat? Better. And then not so much.
I don't know what made her sick. She's the only one sick in the whole pen. I've been feeding her banana(on a spoon) and bread (she likes bread pudding too) along with her milk. After I started feeding her bits of bread she started eating hay again. Go figure. Either she hates the bread and figures Fine. Fuck. Okay. I'll eat the damn hay. Or the yeast in the bread jump started her rumen. My guess is either way she'll be stunted. Damn, she was a nice kid too.
Today she's walking on her own again. Yesterday she couldn't stand at all and I made her walk around supported by a towel under her belly. After she had a bath, in the bath tub.

So, now. What is a girl to do with a goat who eats off a spoon and is used to her baths warm and in the tub with bubbles? Life in the barn is going to be a harsh harsh reality for her.


Joefish said...

I had a hard time adjusting to life in the barn too.

Avitable said...

My ass is fine now, though.

Fogspinner said...

Joe- Life in the barn is hard to get used to. Around here it's almost better than the house though.

Avi- You have no idea how glad I am to hear that. I laughed almost as hard over that as I did Miss Britt.