*achhoooo*

Wow I should come around and dust a little more often. Sorry for the absence. I just haven't had a lot to say that I haven't said already. Just been doing the same ol same ol.

Been feeling better-ish. Every day is different. We did have to take me off one of the drugs they were hoping would be a huge help for me because it actually made my breathing worse.

My last dr's appointment went about how I expected. I'm marginally better but there is no room to really gain much with the amount of permanent damage to my lungs. As in, there is no mucus to clear out to gain capacity, my lungs have rotted away similar to emphysema without the total hardening. I have major inflammation and that's what we are trying to find a happy balance with.

In three months we decide which (not if) transplant team I'll be joining. I'm hoping to be able to stay at my current hospital. However in these economic times it seems unlikely they will find the grants they need to start their unit as they hoped. So it looks like I'll join UCSF and at least get hooked up, it's not that they'll put me right on the list, though my DR thinks that shouldn't be a problem. I'm a prefect candidate.

Frankly the thought of the transplant doesn't bother me at all, I'm rather looking forward to new lungs, but the switching doctors. OMG! I'd rather eat nails.

So there you have it. It's starting into show season, on one of my busiest working months, and I'm totally unprepared. I also don't want to run myself into the ground. I rather like breathing, though it is fairly overrated.

This years kids have me wanting to pull my hair out. They are all very nice and I can't pick just 5. I think I'll toss their numbers in a hat and draw. I think i can chalk this season up to a success. *knock on wood*

*because I said that they will all die in the heat. 100 on my front porch in the sun. screw this!

For the record

• two down two to go and this week will be over
• I do not recommend land diving
  
• my ass is fine but my elbow shoulder and neck are killing me after my little swan dive onto the pavement. *of which I got not a SINGLE freaking bruise that I so truly diserve, yet spanking my dog for YET AGAIN whining at the chicks and pawing at their cage caused my thumb to swell and turn black because I caught her dog tags with it.
• I tried to "help" on friday at a dairy after i took a sample I dipped and turned out a cow, not realizing they had tied up her machine. To do this the wrap a rope from one side of the machine up and over the cow to the other side of the machine, it helps stop air leaks and helps keep the machine on small teated cows. The result was a cow backing out while wrapped up in hoses and rope, oh yeah, with me in the middle. Eventually something gives, usually the hoses slip off the machine and whip around. Did I mention I was in the middle of this? I got a nice hose beating for my trying to help. OHHH and a bruise from THAT!

Karma made me her bitch this week. And here I thought I'd been being so nice lately. *Hum.

Annoying is taking as many meds while "well" as I do when I 'm sick.

It's very hard to stay focused and dedicated to the program when you never catch a break. I do the same things now as I did while I was sick. Only then it was recovery and now it's maintenance.

I find myself having to really TRY to stick with the program and not say "Oh hell I feel fine today I don't need to take/do....."

Grrrr.

Ever heard the saying "As many _____ as Carter has pills"? Yeah only when I was saying that to myself this morning it was As many....... shit, as many pills as Carter. Shit.

Rate of gain this week for the babies is 33.5 pounds. That's 3.35 per kid. Still no complaints. Shoot one of these kids is already 28 pounds at 3 weeks. OMG! HUGE!

Happiness is NOT having a "hunting" hound and 8 baby chickens.

I should be shot.

That is all.

And not in the "if I was a horse I'd shoot me" way either.

More in the "what in the hell was I thinking" way.

As promised I looked up my bucks averages from last year to see if these where just doe throwing bucks. (a handy fact to know if you are pushing semen sales).

But alas, they are not. Last year the two of them were straight up 50-50 bucks to does. Many bred to the same does as this year.

*Sniff*

BUT. I buck I sold to a fellow breeder made the young sire list for 2008 for ADGA. I hope she uses him!

Grr... the fact that the horoscope in the newspaper I read this AM and the horoscope on their web site don't match pisses me off. Today's was totally fitting for what I was talking about yesterday.

Information to Sleep by OR Why my doctors hate me

So this might be the vary reason my doctors really hate to deal with me. It is a curse and a cure all at once. My attention to all the details makes them thankful, because I notice every little change and we can catch the big nasties quickly, yet that can cause anxiety for me and I'm sure them to with I didn't have their phone numbers.

So here is another example of my detail nit picking;

We have 10 babies born last week.

Since last Saturday they have gained overall, 488 oz. That's 30.5 pounds overall and that's roughly 3.05 pounds each. I think that's a good rate of gain since we like to see, what Sarah, about 10 pounds a month each.

These babies are fruit cake for hay. Grass hay thankyouverymuch that alfalfa shit is for horses or cows. I saw them eating hay as early as 1 day old and these 10 have already plowed through a whole flake. We have to modify a hay feeder for these little piglets. I think we'll need to add grain to their diet soon.

But not today. They all have sore shoulders and ears and a headache.
Shots, tattoos, and disbudding was on their menu for today.

Oh yeah, I can feel the love. Or not.