Not dead yet.

Still bawling at the drop of a hat. Oh look, like right now, just mentioning bawling. What a frickin' wimp.

I'm trying to take a break from my oxygen. After the panic attack yesterday when I tried to leave home without it, I felt FINE, I have to come to some sort of terms with this. Or really, my life is over. No I'm not trying to be all melodramatic. Really think about all you know about me. If I can't do those things, those on the go things, what do I have left. My life as I know and love it would be over if I'm tied to this, or any, machine all the time. I just don't know if I can do that.

I looked into hiring a full time employee yesterday. I thought I had someone in mind but she went and got a real job with critters she likes instead of smelly cows. LOL. Anyway turns out I can't afford the workman comp anyway. (1600 a year! for less than 80 hours a month OMG) I may have to hire someone through a temp agency that will cover those costs. Bill said one of the people he knows hired a family member though one, which means I should be able to pick someone and then go in and say I want to hire XXXX. I have to do something to keep this thing rolling exspecially with incoming doctor costs.

And yes I'm working on getting to the city this next month. I got the referal number into my doctor and went to call him yesterday and forgot he closes early on Friday. I also applied for a PAP (precribtion assitance program) for people with Cf that it looks like we might actually qualify for. Considering some of the drugs used today for my lungs are, are you sitting down? Ready for this.... $4600 for 28 days! I'm already on drugs that are running us about 400 a month.

On a side note.. anyone want to drink this water for me?