Russian Roulette

Russian Roulette with my health baby. How to keep life fun and entertaining.

That's what I've been doing the last couple days. I'm sick to damn death of feeling like shit all the time. TIA'S - shmee -I-a's this shit needs to stop. My heart is giving me huge amounts of trouble. Not racing but beating very very hard. I can feel it flip flopping around in there and can actually watch it beat when I look at my chest. So because it's struggling to move blood my limbs starve for oxygen which makes them weak. Which makes it very hard to do my job which, you know, requires WALKING.

SO here is my latest change. I'm using the drug the DR gave me in the inhaler because even though it's been making my head loopy, it works really really well. I stopped using one type of short acting inhaler and started using another because I'm not positive it wasn't creating the loopy head... it's hard to tell with so many being used in a day. Today should sort that out. I also stopped using my O2 at night. I personally think it was making the afternoons worse. Again, today will tell. My body was getting used to a certain level of o2 during the night and then "starving" for it during the day. I have to live with what level I have, so suck it up muscles, what you get is what you got. Oh, and I'm taking something to thin my blood again. I'm sticking to ibuprofen because when it wears off... so does it's blood thinning qualities (or so says the DR). I noticed a difference already with that last night. No pounding heart when I would walk from one end of my house to the other or roll over in bed or stand up or put on my sweatshirt or talk for 30 seconds.

Oh and Greg is sick again. Cough, fever, snot, lots of snot. Guess Bill gets conference duty alone today. When he's sick I wish we had one of those lives you can jump off of when some one gets sick. But there are babies to feed and goats to milk and dogs to let out/in. Oh well. We'll get through it.

Today I have to make a phone call. I've been putting it off for 2 weeks. Ha.

• Awww. I have a friend who's blooming. It's nice to watch.
• I have goat like that too, we called her a late bloomer.
• Bill had to take a night off work last night to help me do my job, which sucked.
• So yeah, I suck. My heart sucks. My breathing sucks. This whole deal sucks.
• I am expecting calls from another new client.
  
• I knew if I held on long enough my business would take off on it's own.
  
• Nothing advertises like word of mouth, good or bad.
  
• Now I hope my body will hold together to keep my business together.
• I need a new lap top.
  
• Good thing with that is I can actually hire another tester if I want and be able to send them out with their own computer.
• Bad thing is cost.
  
• I'll have to stop procrastinating.
  
• The new medicine that makes my head squishy works like a dream. I slept great last night. Only it is still making my head squishy 16 hours later.
• Bullets are cool.
  

I have my first case of true mastitis in a milker. It's NASTY too. I've had high SSC and little stringers, but this was true thick nastiness all the way through, much like milking butter though a straw. Or similar to what I cough up, only chunkier.

My health is truly up and down. Each day is a whole new ball of wax. Some days I'm usless as tits on a boar hog and others I feel fine.

Last night was a trip. I felt like I couldn't inhale all the way nor could I fully exhale. My chest was heavy and under extreme pressure. I was lying there not sleeping with a horrible headache when I actually felt the pressure lift. It was a totally odd feeling. It lifted and I could breath freely. Then I got up and took some tylenol for the headache. That was about 5Am. I slept till 11. Totally unheard of for me. But I needed to sleep. I was/am totally behind in that category.

I'm trying to talk myself into a new laptop. With all these mounting bills I find it hard to say... OH sure another new "thing" is a great idea. But man I really need it for the business. It is a write off...