Well I started the new drug yesterday. I'm taking it on top of all the others they have me on. What the hell right? What won't cure me might kill me.

I'm coughing in the AM again like I used to. Which is saying something. That means it's productive and not a constant dry hacking cough. Gross huh? Don't you wish you came here everyday to read this. *hello, are you still here?*

My son is an absolute blessing. Yesterday in the mayham that is my husbands inability to be rational, he was a god send. He walked up to me and patted my back while I sobbed. I hate that he even sees any of this. Unfortunately full on warfare is how my husband was raised. He doesn't see "a time and place". Frankly when he freaks out he doesn't "see" at all. This is what he sought counseling for before. And like before he doesn't see it in himself. Only this time G is old enough to point it out to him also, though I've told him a million times to keep his mouth shut. Anyone how knows my spawn (lol) will know that he will not keep his mouth shut for long. I think that is a fight that might turn really really ugly. Boys and their mothers and all.

So today we are off to work.

This weekend we are off to work at the goats. Bill wants to "get away" for a day. (Did I mentin he just got home from NASCAR?) I don't. I hate traveling or socializing, can't walk for far, don't like shopping (again with the walking), don't want to drive (have you been to the pump lately), hate being indoors, but can't get far from home and be outside due to the smoke. So. I'm giving him that criteria and saying, sure you figure something out. Get back to me on that.

Meanwhile I'll be with my goats. Outside. In clean air. Enjoying myself. Probably in the sun. Possibly alone.