Add a big ol' check to the "feels like shit again" column. Yeah so it's a good thing I'm going back to the DRs today because I feel that crappy. Bleeding, wheezing, thick head. SHIT. All the crap we had under control is back. Can I mention I hate this shit?

Sarah took a picture of me... holy hell! Gaunt much? I don't remember looking like that when I look in the mirror. Maybe I should look closer, for longer than 30 seconds.

Sarah's little ranch market went very well. She created a great outlet there. All I did was sit and point, much like all I do anymore.

On that subject. Sitting and directing is fun for awhile but it gets old fast. I'm not really a sit and delegate kind of girl. I like to have my finger in ALL the pots helping a little everywhere, all while holding down my own thing.

==================Warning Whining Follows===============
I can't hold down my own things right now without help and I hate that. The frustration and the stress is getting to me. I want my life back. I'm done being sick. I've surpassed my tolerance level for being weak. I'm tired of G having to do way more than his fair share because I'm too damn weak to walk across the house much less wrangle goats, even the babies. I want to be able to know I can do my job, alone if I have too. My body just isn't pushable right now. I push and the fucker pushes back. I've always been able to push through a job. I might feel like hell tomorrow but I can get through today. I can't always get through the next 10 minutes let alone the whole damn day.
I hope this Dr can do something today. I can't deal much more with waking up with a head that's going to explode, bawling because I'm getting neurotically stressed, waiting for the next shoe to drop.