Dusty

I had to go read my last post to see where I left off. I've been gone too long from here.

And frankly, I really haven't missed it. Writing is now a chore for me.

I used to love to write. I wrote books and stories, lots of them.

I get frustrated writing more now than I did as a teen because my vocabulary and spelling can't keep up with the story playing in my mind. See I can't leave a mistake alone. I have to go back and fix it. Which either stops the story in my mind (which is playing like a movie, or the story goes on and I miss writing parts of it. Stories in your mind have no pause or rewind. Miss a part and it's gone.
It was a problem I had in high school. I had a English class where we had to speed write a short story. Mine was 4 pages long in 30 minutes. Yeah, front and back. When graded there were huge chunks of the story missing, my teacher attributed it to the fact that my hand couldn't keep up with my mind. He also did this exercise again and kept track of when he made announcements and if/when the class was interrupted, my stories would have a hole. Proven that my mind sees the story I'm trying to write without pause or rewind. Dammit.

So writing about my day... or something funny that usually never happens, seems to come out dull and boring to me. I struggle to get to the point rather than "see" the details. I struggle to describe the look on a face, or the tone of a voice because I don't have a tight grasp of vocabulary. And reading the dictionary ain't gonna happen. I can't go back and embellish a story because I don't seem to "see" where to do that.

A great writer I will never be.

So much for updating about whats been going on. This post seems to have taken a different turn.