I'm not a crier. Really. Step on my toe and I'm more likely going to cuss a blue streak and punch you in the eye than cry.

So why was I sitting in my bed at 4 am this morning sobbing like a baby? Damn nerves. My back, specifically the area where my ribs attach to my spinal column was out. Which sends "phantom" (where phantom=sticking a knife in my ribs and twisting it) pains around to the front of my ribs. It feels exactly like a broken rib and the pains are your bodies warning to not draw to large of a breath to protect said broken rib.
Only my ribs?
NOT broken.

The sad part of all this is I'm so congested right now that I am having a hard time drawing a deep breath normally. Now. Add to that a knife like shooting pain every time you draw half a breath.

SO first thing this morning I went to the chiropractor and he put me back together again. The ribs will probably go out again. The headache is probably from stress and the ear? This damn ear that's been "plugged" for 2 weeks? He got it to pop! It stayed that way for a while, but has since plugged and unplugged a few times.

So... ribs aren't hurting as bad.
Blood pressure is through the fricking roof.
Lungs are topped off with crap.
Head is hurting and "thick".

It's sunny and nice outside.

That cold I was complaining about. Is.totally.kicking.my.ass.

I'm more than a little relieved that my Friday job cancelled. Ok don't tell, but I'm like THANK FUCKING GOD they canceled. My new best friend is my oxygen machine. I'm like tied to the damn thing and not in a good way ya know?

If my line gets hooked on my chair one more time and I almost rip off my nose, I might cry.

My lungs sound like an old geezers battle zone. With all the wheezing and popping and gurgling going on in there you'd think I was percolating. *Ding* Coffee's done.

I have a really sick goat and I don't give a damn. No no it's not that I REALLY don't give a damn, it's that I can't muster the energy to care. I DID something about it, I gave G a fatty shot and said, "here stick her with *cough*wheeze*hack* this and put some *hack*wheeze* hay in with....... *gasp for air*wheeze*wheeze*wheeze* her." Shit. It takes me like 3 minutes to finish a damn sentence if I get worn out first. And by wearing me out, that means walking more than 5' or coughing more than oh, twice.

So yeah, tomorrow, after running to get some milk for the babies, I'm sitting here on my machine and doing nada. Maybe a little nothing, but that will be pretty much it. If I can have my way that is.

So tomorrow will be the day the fence will fall down, the goat will get sick, the roof will blow off, the water will break, the barn will catch fire (again) and Bill will get hurt at work.

I am entirely too tired. I'm sitting here with my sweats on my lap rather than putting them on because standing up just sounds like too much work.

It took an hour for them to wash up tonight. An hour. Which means I couldn't even start to break down until 6:45. Alone. Well, with G. But we usually have an abundance of help there, at least 4 guys come to help us tear down. Now, since we're starting milking at the new brilliant hour of 10:50 AM the chore guys aren't done in time to help tear down. Grrrreeeaaattttttt. Bleh. Then off to milk the goats and feed the babies entirely too little milk.

We got allll the way home and realized we were out of dog food, still.

Crap.

I am so glad that show is over. I'm thinking more and more that I just dislike showing. I like hanging out and watching and seeing people and people watching, but ehhh the rest, no mater how well or poor we do, I just don't care.

I was so glad we were able to haul out early on Sunday. We did not stay to show our bucks, because really? What was the point. Half the togg bucks went home before me and I only entered my buck to make them official anyway. Next year, nope, not happening.

Today I soundly hit a wall and feel like crap. The crap in my lungs is like dried rubber cement and I'm sitting here on my o2 already. The antibiotics seem to be doing nothing right now either.

Tomorrow I work at 11 am. I have to be there at 9am to set up. I hope I can hold my shit together through the day. So today is a day of rest.

I'm weak and dreary enough that I just want to close my eyes and stop breathing. Literally that's what my mind is telling me it needs. Umm... NO.

We did take all the kids from here out to the goat property. I need to move some of these weanable kids. But that means making a phone call and I just don't have the energy for that right now.

Time to go show goats.

I am totally not impressed. Impressed? Excited? Conscience? What-ev'ah.

Sick

Grrr...

I coughed for 16 straight hours yesterday. While working. With a headache. By the end of the day my whole body ached and not from the cold I've been sporting but simply from coughing so damn long.

I gargled with hot salt water last night to try to sooth my savage throat. It didn't help. Neither did any of the other 101 things I tried.

My nose hurts so bad wearing my 02 hurts. It actually tingles enough to make me sneeze. Which makes me cough, again.

Today I have nothing to do except get this milk ready to ship. I really need to clean my kitchen and do laundry but screw that. I'm only doing what I have to do.

If it wasn't for my 2 legged children I would not be showing goats this weekend. I have 2 big jobs next week and cannot still be sick.

Must let puppy in, if she barks again I may kill her.

Pound head on wall.

I think I'm allergic to goats. No shit. However I think the stuffy head started prior to our clipping but hasn't let up at all since we started. And since in the last 3 days I haven't stopped clipping I'm not sure. This show... OMG I'm almost sorry I'm going.

I'm one of the supposed members, only I haven't paid dues in two years because I saw the writing on the wall in the first 3 months. As soon as RA fair dropped their show and they glommed onto it, I knew the club was history. It wasn't even gallant that they swooped in to *save* the show, it was purely selfish and to stroke their own egos. "Look what I did". I think some members had, and have, the very best of intentions in mind. Those are the ones that just want to host a GOAT SHOW, not an EVENT.

Now with high fuel prices people aren't traveling to shows. I used to show once a month, I am going to 3 shows total this year. I feel their pain and understand the decision. I'm personally thinking of not showing at all next year and rather having my herd LA'd. I think the cost would equal going to one show or so. People are going to go to the shows were they can bring home some cash in their pockets first and only go to close non-paying shows. And frankly most goat shows are non paying. We knew that when we got into this hobby. But as a hobby, you can only spend so much before it's just too extreme. I'd rather buy good hay than go to a goat show.

The same thing happened to rabbit shows. The numbers dropped so low that shows buckled and closed shop. Costs were too high and numbers too low. During the "good" years shows had set their own bar too high with *great* prizes, *extreme* raffles, and/or *free* exhibitor lunches. When a decline hit and they had to cut corners and remove those items that people had grow accustom too, people stopped going.

When you come out of the gate setting the bar really high and trying to do it all, you set yourself up to fail. You are always best to leave room to grow so you can offer MORE later.

But as foolish as I think this club is there is nothing to be done to stop them. Regardless of anything they power walk over other members to achieve their own goals. Nothing they do is wrong, even when it's pointed out IN BLACK AND WHITE, they have an excuse for everything. I call it baffle them with bullshit. Talk long enough and people stop listening.

Hello.... Is this thing still on? Are you still with me?

Bleh. They (all of them!) just irritate me. So on with things.

Goats= good.
We have a snapping alligator baby though. OMG it was so funny that I wish I had a camera with me. If this kid had been able to get a hold of someone she'd have taken a chunk out of them. She bit the clippers, she bit the milk stand, she snapped and gnashed at us every time she thought she could reach us. If she'd had top teeth it would have been really impressive. Instead it was fun to pet her shoulders and watch her whip her head around and try to bite you. Yesterday I had G catch her because she walked right up to him without knowing it. She snapped and tried to bite his arm. He walked her around the field and bit and pet her and then let her go. Poor baby.

Dogs are good. Pissed, since I bought a baby gate yesterday to keep them out of the cat boxes, but good. HA HA no more kitty yummies for you! The puppy is a big girl now, through her first heat and everything. She weighs in at a whopping 7.25 lbs. Look out man, she'll chew you up.

Off to eat and clip and then for a blood draw tonight. Yippy, more dealings with these people.