My mind is tired. Tired of making anything make since. That's kinda what happens when the o2 is low alot of the time. Everything gets a little foggy. Words are blurry and fuck man don't expect me to remember jack shit. Oh and I also feel a little numb around the edges from time to time. Like my jaw line or my knees or sometimes my rib cage. Literally around the edges.
Ya'll be really sick of hearing me say this shit until this gets sorted out. It's a total pain in the ass and frankly it's constant.
So here's the vicious circle as it stands right now.
My heart rate is sky high. Pulse rate of 110, resting. (normal is in the 70's for reference)
My heart rate is so high because my heart is pumping blood REALLY fast to try to get O2 around my body.
My o2 is low because my lungs are clogged with a bunch of thick goop thanks to my piss poor genetics.
The medicine to clear my lungs makes my heart rate skyrocket.
I'm completely dreading kidding season.
Tonight I'm taking the meds. If my heart explodes at least I wouldn't have drowned.
============
Have I ever mentioned that my life long fear is flying. Have I mentioned why? Because since I was a really small kid I've had one reoccurring nightmare. I'm in a plane that crashes over the ocean and I drowned. I used to think this was based from the fact I can't swim very well.
I'm beginning to think maybe it's a glimpse into my death. It's likely I'll die from congestive heart failure. I'll drowned in retained fluid filling my lungs. Flying=medicated.
Ehh who knows. Just a thought. You're welcome.
====================
This in itself has nothing to do with the really odd dreams I've been having lately.
Like last nights dream where there were goats everywhere. I was taking care of someone elses dairy herd. Yet some kids (K and M P to be exact) where in a hay loft with me and some girl named Sara (who looked like A M). Sara knocked a bale of hay out of the loft onto a goat hitting it on the front end. "Breaking" the goat. It was paralyzed....nerve damaged..... broken neck. Anyhow I was standing over the goat holding it up (like I can pick up a full grown goat like that)... and my phone rang. Thank god.
==================
Ps. Mandy.... A N was down the street from A M visiting with "he who lives there" this week. A M says she didn't think she went in but they were out in front talking for quite a while. Man i hope she isn't doing that again.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
OK to all my fellow blogging friends. STOP IT. just STOP. I can't handle all the words. Too many words. I just had to stop reading my bloglines because the damn post were running together in my head. Britt is 40? I thought she had a birthday last week, no wait she's co hosting a live chat with poppy, no that's not right. SHIT.
Needless to say, for all your sakes I just shut the damn thing off. I'm not going to get it right anyway.
There isn't a part of me that doesn't ache today. Yesterday's test was long. I'm not normally such a freakin' puss about it either, but then my day time O2 levels are usually higher than they have been. On that note I did get the order for over night O2. Now we just have to work out who pays how much for that machine. Luckily we have insurance, but we have this super odd prescription part where we have to pay up front for it then they reimburse us. Only this isn't a prescription even though they write a prescription for you to get it? Doe anyone else see the potential for this to be a clusterfuck?
Our ever lovely KG was talking about non-traditional dog toys today (yesterday maybe?), I read it today so we're saying today, alright. No arguing with the cranky sore whiner. Anyhow. It made me laugh. Last night I was playing with my poor poor puppy who had to spend ALL day with daddy, which we know is never as good as being with mommy, and she starts whining to get in her dog crate. Trust me it wasn't 'cuz she love to be in there either. Half the time she uses it as a private toilet with access to toys and bedding. So I'm figuring she can see her cat toy that's in there and wants it. I pop open the door and she barrels right past the cat to the dish in the back. Out she comes hauling her plastic food dish and proceeds to run it all over the bed. I snagged it back just before she started to eat it. As I tossed it in the crate and slammed the door I just about took off her nose she was that close behind me trying to get it back. She promptly sat down in front of the door, looked up at me over back (so her nose was straight up in the air) rolled her eyes at me and then, looking at the crate, barked and growled.
Holy brattiness. Last night is the first time she acted like a "puppy". Like you imagine a puppy would when you bring them home. She was happy and hyper and wanted to play play play... with anything. This is a huge step up from the puppy I brought home who just wanted to sleep sleep sleep. In fact we used to have to wake her up to feed her. A dog you have to wake up to feed.... that's not right man.
In other news, G is going back to the doctors today. I think they should just furnish one of those rooms in the back with a decent set of bunk beds and we'll move him in. Maybe he can share the room with Mandy's boy, who can't seem to stay out of the poison oak to save his soul. Today's ailment started yesterday in the form of a killer headache. Nothing would touch it yesterday he had it all day and night. Light and sound sensitive, behind the nose, eyes, forehead, and top of his skull is painful to the touch and throbs. This am I gave his some sinus headache stuff to see if that helped at all. No dice. He said it felt a little better, as he told me, from the bathroom, to please please stop pounding on whatever it was I was pounding on in my room... I was typing.
Maybe this will link into whatever is still causing the vomiting. Because the answer of "suck it up" or we'll have to give you these heavy narcotics just isn't the warning you want issued to your 12 year old.
Depending on what the DR says today, I may likely be calling about homeschooling tomorrow. I'd look into an ISP but his freaking teachers can't get their shit together to send his homework home when he's absent and I call for it.
Ahh, another day. Now I'm going to see about dragging my ass out of this chair and getting lunch. If I can croak out an order. Yeah, shut up. My voice is gone on top of it all, which is why I said I'd make those calls...tomorrow.
Needless to say, for all your sakes I just shut the damn thing off. I'm not going to get it right anyway.
There isn't a part of me that doesn't ache today. Yesterday's test was long. I'm not normally such a freakin' puss about it either, but then my day time O2 levels are usually higher than they have been. On that note I did get the order for over night O2. Now we just have to work out who pays how much for that machine. Luckily we have insurance, but we have this super odd prescription part where we have to pay up front for it then they reimburse us. Only this isn't a prescription even though they write a prescription for you to get it? Doe anyone else see the potential for this to be a clusterfuck?
Our ever lovely KG was talking about non-traditional dog toys today (yesterday maybe?), I read it today so we're saying today, alright. No arguing with the cranky sore whiner. Anyhow. It made me laugh. Last night I was playing with my poor poor puppy who had to spend ALL day with daddy, which we know is never as good as being with mommy, and she starts whining to get in her dog crate. Trust me it wasn't 'cuz she love to be in there either. Half the time she uses it as a private toilet with access to toys and bedding. So I'm figuring she can see her cat toy that's in there and wants it. I pop open the door and she barrels right past the cat to the dish in the back. Out she comes hauling her plastic food dish and proceeds to run it all over the bed. I snagged it back just before she started to eat it. As I tossed it in the crate and slammed the door I just about took off her nose she was that close behind me trying to get it back. She promptly sat down in front of the door, looked up at me over back (so her nose was straight up in the air) rolled her eyes at me and then, looking at the crate, barked and growled.
Holy brattiness. Last night is the first time she acted like a "puppy". Like you imagine a puppy would when you bring them home. She was happy and hyper and wanted to play play play... with anything. This is a huge step up from the puppy I brought home who just wanted to sleep sleep sleep. In fact we used to have to wake her up to feed her. A dog you have to wake up to feed.... that's not right man.
In other news, G is going back to the doctors today. I think they should just furnish one of those rooms in the back with a decent set of bunk beds and we'll move him in. Maybe he can share the room with Mandy's boy, who can't seem to stay out of the poison oak to save his soul. Today's ailment started yesterday in the form of a killer headache. Nothing would touch it yesterday he had it all day and night. Light and sound sensitive, behind the nose, eyes, forehead, and top of his skull is painful to the touch and throbs. This am I gave his some sinus headache stuff to see if that helped at all. No dice. He said it felt a little better, as he told me, from the bathroom, to please please stop pounding on whatever it was I was pounding on in my room... I was typing.
Maybe this will link into whatever is still causing the vomiting. Because the answer of "suck it up" or we'll have to give you these heavy narcotics just isn't the warning you want issued to your 12 year old.
Depending on what the DR says today, I may likely be calling about homeschooling tomorrow. I'd look into an ISP but his freaking teachers can't get their shit together to send his homework home when he's absent and I call for it.
Ahh, another day. Now I'm going to see about dragging my ass out of this chair and getting lunch. If I can croak out an order. Yeah, shut up. My voice is gone on top of it all, which is why I said I'd make those calls...tomorrow.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
FINALLY!
My puppy is "getting" the idea of the dog crate. I.E. it is not an evil containment device meant to torture small mammals. As we speak she's hanging out in there chewing on a toy. Maybe she'll get into the whole "den" idea. This concept, or lack of it on her part, has made house training a real bitch. Seriously, this dog could care less where she shits. My guess is that the breeder didn't keep the whelping areas clean enough. The puppies got used to tracking through the poop and don't have that ingrained need to have a clean nest. I've not ever had a dog who didn't care when they got poop on them. Corky would turn herself inside out and practically run her own bath if she so much as stepped too close to poop. It's a known fact Buddy didn't like poop, he actually pooped out a window once. (That's successful house training, lol)
Now if we could just clear up her loose stool issue this whole deal might be sealed. She has the concept. She knows the process. In fact last night she scared the shit out of me when she woke me up to go out. I didn't feel her get up which I usually do, then I wait till she come up and asks to go out. (Mostly I'm hoping she'll go back to sleep and we won't have to get up.) So last night I woke up to a lick on the end of my nose and these big dark brown eyes staring at me from where she was standing on my chest. ( I have no idea how I slept through her walking on me either.) Good thing my heart is already running too fast, that might have sent me over the edge.
Speaking of heart. Last night=bad. heart rate was high enough I was listening to it pound in my ears. Bleh. It's better right now. All day it's been icky. Not sure why or what's causing the tightness, but not even the inhaler or nebulizer are working. It's something else.
Two brown eyes are calling me. I'm going to go play with a puppy.
Puppies are good for the soul if not for the carpet.
My puppy is "getting" the idea of the dog crate. I.E. it is not an evil containment device meant to torture small mammals. As we speak she's hanging out in there chewing on a toy. Maybe she'll get into the whole "den" idea. This concept, or lack of it on her part, has made house training a real bitch. Seriously, this dog could care less where she shits. My guess is that the breeder didn't keep the whelping areas clean enough. The puppies got used to tracking through the poop and don't have that ingrained need to have a clean nest. I've not ever had a dog who didn't care when they got poop on them. Corky would turn herself inside out and practically run her own bath if she so much as stepped too close to poop. It's a known fact Buddy didn't like poop, he actually pooped out a window once. (That's successful house training, lol)
Now if we could just clear up her loose stool issue this whole deal might be sealed. She has the concept. She knows the process. In fact last night she scared the shit out of me when she woke me up to go out. I didn't feel her get up which I usually do, then I wait till she come up and asks to go out. (Mostly I'm hoping she'll go back to sleep and we won't have to get up.) So last night I woke up to a lick on the end of my nose and these big dark brown eyes staring at me from where she was standing on my chest. ( I have no idea how I slept through her walking on me either.) Good thing my heart is already running too fast, that might have sent me over the edge.
Speaking of heart. Last night=bad. heart rate was high enough I was listening to it pound in my ears. Bleh. It's better right now. All day it's been icky. Not sure why or what's causing the tightness, but not even the inhaler or nebulizer are working. It's something else.
Two brown eyes are calling me. I'm going to go play with a puppy.
Puppies are good for the soul if not for the carpet.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Today's read: "The art of raising a puppy" written by the monks of New Skete.
Why am I reading puppy books? Other than the obvious that we've recently aquired a new puppy? Because it's been 9 years since I've trained a puppy.
I feel like I need a refresher course. For a while there in our life it seemed I did nothing BUT train puppies. Anyone who has known me for any amount of time knows that all my dogs are obedient to a fault. Even Buddy, for all his separation anxiety issues, was a very obedient dog. When I was raising up my first fur-baby I had studied a book that belonged to a friend of mine, she raised huskies, and it was fabulous. I used what I learned there on all the puppies/ young dogs we had over the next 8 years. When your dogs are spaced out about 1-2 years apart, that stuff stays fresh in your mind.
I've seen the monks on TV and loved what I'd seen their approach do. It's basically what I'd done with Corky and used on all the others done the line. Now that I've read it I'm thinking, Pppffttt, I knew all that.
If you're going to whelp a litter, this would be a good book to read. It is more about raising a litter than raising a puppy. I think I need to find their book called "How to be your dog's best friend." Just to read. Turns out I haven't forgotten as much as I thought.
Ps. O2 readings from last night from what I saw (since the little piss head shmuck didn't tell me anything, I have to wait till I see the DR. Ha he doesn't realize my DR will fax me the results, asswipe) O2 was never over 90, rode most the night at the mid to high 80's and dipped to 74 at least once. This is what I saw, who knows what happened when I wasn't looking. When it was at the low of 74 my pulse was 145. That was fun... and the headache was *right* there getting ready to start. Probably caused more from the high pulse and less from the low O2.
Why am I reading puppy books? Other than the obvious that we've recently aquired a new puppy? Because it's been 9 years since I've trained a puppy.
I feel like I need a refresher course. For a while there in our life it seemed I did nothing BUT train puppies. Anyone who has known me for any amount of time knows that all my dogs are obedient to a fault. Even Buddy, for all his separation anxiety issues, was a very obedient dog. When I was raising up my first fur-baby I had studied a book that belonged to a friend of mine, she raised huskies, and it was fabulous. I used what I learned there on all the puppies/ young dogs we had over the next 8 years. When your dogs are spaced out about 1-2 years apart, that stuff stays fresh in your mind.
I've seen the monks on TV and loved what I'd seen their approach do. It's basically what I'd done with Corky and used on all the others done the line. Now that I've read it I'm thinking, Pppffttt, I knew all that.
If you're going to whelp a litter, this would be a good book to read. It is more about raising a litter than raising a puppy. I think I need to find their book called "How to be your dog's best friend." Just to read. Turns out I haven't forgotten as much as I thought.
Ps. O2 readings from last night from what I saw (since the little piss head shmuck didn't tell me anything, I have to wait till I see the DR. Ha he doesn't realize my DR will fax me the results, asswipe) O2 was never over 90, rode most the night at the mid to high 80's and dipped to 74 at least once. This is what I saw, who knows what happened when I wasn't looking. When it was at the low of 74 my pulse was 145. That was fun... and the headache was *right* there getting ready to start. Probably caused more from the high pulse and less from the low O2.
All the cool kids
Are doing it, which totally does not explain why I'm involved, but here you go anyway. A meme for Friday.
How to Play:(click my links, because they’ll take you where you want to go)
How to Play:(click my links, because they’ll take you where you want to go)
- Go to Wikipedia- Click on random Article (left hand side) The first article title on the page is the name of your band.
- Click Random Quotes The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
- Visit Flickr- The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
- Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
- My dog is not a morning dog. She is still under the covers. We're going to work on that this week.
- Today will be huge one way or the other. Lets hope it's hugely good not hugely bad. It's a 50-50 shot.
- Work went well both days. Yesterday the dad of the ranch fixed our 20+ errors and I felt great knowing none (yes NONE) were mine. I think someone might get an ass chewin' and it ain't me!
Edit. Does hugely OK work? The interview was ho-hum. What a bunch of freaking retards is my opinion. One month for her to write her report, at least one more before we get a court date. My guess is sometime before Greg turns 13 Bill will be able to officially finish the adoption that has been in the court system since 2002.
We did not get to the other thing that's likely to suck buttermilk. We're doing that tomorrow. Yea?
Friday, January 11, 2008
I can't believe my luck today. Rootietoot made my shopping list for me. And a menu... for a WHOLE MONTH. Ok so a few things I'll have to scratch off the list because I am not near as culinarily refined as she is or my family won't eat it, or bill's diet doesn't allow for it.
A rudimentary list of menus:
Chicken:
w/ rice or stuffing
Grilled w/ lemon
Roasted w/ herbs or spicesThai currySatay
Tacos
Parmesan w/ pastaLaab gai
Beef:
Grilled steak/London broil
Hamburger steaks
Shish k bobs
Tacos
Pot roastRoast beef w/popovers
Hamburgers w/trimmings
Stew/casseroles:
SpaghettiVegetable soupChiliPintos and hamPotato soupClam chowder
Chicken pot pieHashbrown casserole w/ hamWhite chicken chili
Fish:TacosBaked/CreoleRanch baked tilapia (recipe)
Pork:
Roast
Grilled tenderloin
Chops
Vegetarian:Vegetable soupPotato soup
Side dishes
Grains:Quinoa pilafBarley w/ mushroomsRed rice pilafBrown rice
Vege:
Broccoli: salad, steamed, mixed
Cabbage: slaw, sautéed
Green beans: steamed, brown butter w/ almonds
Mixed vegs : snow peas, carrots, broccoli, squashBaked sweet potatoesRoasted winter roots
Baked potatoesSweet potatoes and apples
Groceries (2 weeks worth, except produce and milk-1 weeks worth)
Produce:
Green onions garlic parsley spinach broccoli soup vegs tomatoes lettuce
Meat:
Hamburgerx3 pot roast Tilapia chicken breasts bacon ham hock
Dried:
Pasta for soup flour cornbread mix ranch dressing powder taco shells-(10) salsa
Brown rice brown gravy mix ramen noodles
Canned:
Tomatoes for sauce x2 chicken broth x 6 beef broth x4 pickles green chilies hash cranberry juice
Frozen:
Tiny Italian meatballs vegetables-butter peas, etc grapefruit juice
Bread:
Wheat loaf hamburger buns
Dairy:
Cream milk eggs vanilla yogurt butter fiesta cheese
See my whole thing with cooking isn't that I can't... or don't know how... it's that I hate planning for it. I hate thinking up what to eat and what to buy and BLEH BLEH BLEH. Tell me what you want and I'll cook it. Within reason. You saw how much I scratched off that list...
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